Life doesn't have to suck....

Leaning on This Broken Fence...

2007-05-25T01:00:00.000-04:00

So I've had this Weakerthans song stuck in my head for the past week... It just won't leave. I guess the bonus is that the song is really good.

It's about time that I started to read all of the books that I have been accumulating. Which means that I'm just starting David Dark's Everyday Apocalypse. I've also hit up the comics of late, reading the individual issues of Fables that are out so far, (Patrick has them), and I've just recently picked up and read the first two trades of 100 Bullets. Fables is, has been, and will forever be amazing. 100 Bullets took a little time to get into for me. The first trade moved slowly, a decent enough set of stories, but it wasn't until the end of the first trade that you could start to see something cohesive. Needless to say I was skeptical going into the second trade. The second blew me away. I still have very little idea what is going on, but links are showing, an idea of what characters will not simply be one shot deals is coming to mind, and what is actually going on is rapidly unraveling. I have no idea what is happening but I am definitely enjoying the trip.

In other news I finally get out to some concerts, huzzah! The first of which was a show with Cursive, Against Me!, and Mastodon. Cursive blew me away. When they first took the stage I realized that the cellist was conspicuously absent... and that got me entirely too nervous. How would they play anything off of The Ugly Organ? I guess replacing the cello with a couple of horns does the trick because it was amazingly tight. Against Me! came out next and immediately got into the stomp of Pints of Guinness, and if you ask me there isn't a better opener. They stopped playing an hour later... no literally... they played straight through the entire set uninterrupted save when Tom decided that during the intro of the next song he'd thank the other bands. The only phrase that I've been able to come up with that aptly describes what I witnessed was "sonic juggernaut". Take it as you will. And Mastodon... well I'm not a huge metalhead but they were good enough, not too mention that their guitarist was sporting quite the faux-hawk into mullet. Next on the docket was a show down at the KC hall with the loved ones. Their lead singer was on his game with witty banter being the currency of the night. The one thing that still shocks me is how short he was... I mean, I would be surprised if he cracked the five foot barrier. Definitely well worth the price of admission. The last concert I saw was down at the Abbey Pub last weekend. The headliner was Sundowner, but each one of the three openers put on a great show. Smoke or Fire had a fairly gritty punk sound and absolutely killed the set. Next came The Forecast, out of good ole' Peoria, and what I can't figure out is why they don't play more shows out in the city. The crowd was really into them and they put on a great show... although I will say their chick bass player / vocalist kinda looked like a dude at first. Just an observation. Limbeck played a... I don't want to say country, but definitely a heavily country influenced pop-rock set. I thoroughly enjoyed them. Finally Sundowner played and a great time was had by all. (Sundowner is Chris from The Lawrence Arms acoustic side project). He definitely has a sound that is way too enjoyable for me to listen too these days.

I was looking around today while being frustrated with the bluetooth functionality of my Verizon Razr phone and I finally found out the hack that I would have to use to re-enable everything that they disabled. Now if I can do it the legal way through Verizon and it isn't too expensive, maybe I'll just do it that way. Not to mention the fact that if I mess up in the seed editing, my phone may no longer work. From what I hear it is fairly easy to accomplish though. Decisions, decisions.

This weekend I'm heading out to Mammoth Cave National Park. I'm pumped.

Currently Reading - David Dark - Everyday Apocalypse

Happenings

2007-05-06T18:26:00.000-04:00

A bunch of things have come up recently. Let me share.

Rachel and I now have a family plan with Verizon. What does this mean? It means that we get fifteen percent off the monthly bill, no activation fee, and a couple of free razr phones thanks to the fact that Rachel works at Raymond James. This is great for me, because the bill will be less a month and a good majority of the people I talk to anyways have verizon and free mobile to mobile will make me happy. Oh and don't worry about getting in contact with me; the phone number is the same.

As far as work goes, I'm finally done with training and should have a computer up and running for me this week, which will be great as I'm anxious to start doing real work. I'm thinking that while I probably won't want to keep this job past the winter it's not going to be nearly as bad as I thought at first. I think that's mainly due to the fact that what I'm doing is actually beneficial to people. Directly that is. I will be making sure that people get the money that sends them to college, and while it may get mind numbing having that in the back of my head will definitely make it better.

If you check out the side of the old blogger here you'll see that I have rediscovered the ole' last.fm account. Thanks to it, I will no longer put at the bottom of the page whatever it is that I'm listening to... because it will be constantly updated to the side of the page with a fun little picture of Elliott Smith watching over what I play. Hopefully it won't be too buggy and it'll update real nice like. If you don't like it or think that it isn't working well let me know.

So, to repeat... work is okay, new playlist on the site, and a phone that will actually have reception if you call!

Also before I forget, a thank you, plug, and nod of admiration to Lillian Calles Barger. I don't care if it was merely a plug for her new book, but the fact that she stopped by and commented on the blog about my reading of her book is great. I admire her ethic to reach her audience and the writing that she does.

Currently reading... Eve's Revenge
The Benedictine Handbook

The Working World

2007-04-22T19:13:00.000-04:00

Well, I broke down. I'm now working a temp job. They like to think of it as something that is parlayed into a career, i.e. it goes perm after 3 months. I like to think that it's a stopgap to earn a few bucks. Of course I can't rightly tell them that. Why don't I feel bad about strictly using this as a temp job when it is clear that they are looking for something more than that? I think that it's because have no reason to. They benefit from me because I'm damn good at what I do, and I benefit from them because I'm making a few dollars. If they want me to stay, and I enjoy it there, I'm sure that they can find a way to make that happen. And if they aren't willing to do that, then I don't want to be working there anyways. That's my thoughts on that.

Now it's really too early to make a call on this job, as I've only had it for two weeks now, but I will say that there is one thing that I hate about it. Brace yourself... "Casual Friday". Now if there is something that chills me to the core about this job, it's that. I know what you're thinking. That's it? That's his big complaint? Yes, yes it is. But it goes so much deeper than that, or at least I like to think that it does. "Casual Friday", it's one of those gimmicks that companies like to use because they think that it boosts morale. How could it possibly do that? And if it actually does, why isn't that your dress code to begin with if your workers work better and more productively under those conditions. It's one of those things that has never made sense to me. Also, I feel like a massive tool working at a place that has "Casual Fridays". Don't ask me why, because I'm not entirely sure.

Next issue, the work seems like it's going to be pretty mindless. That's how it seems to me so far. There are certain things that you just memorize and do over and over and over again. Now during the training period that we've had so far, it ends halfway through this week, the instructors like to make it seem as though we will be having to use all these calculations and different things, but here's the deal. All these calculations are done once, because you're only working with one school. So you have all of your abbreviated formulas that you plug one number into and you get your answer. I feel like even though they require their workers to have a college degree, I could be doing all of this with the knowledge that I gained from high school alone. Not only that but in the classes that we have they give us all these problems to work through and I'll finish the problem in ten minutes max and sit around waiting twenty minutes for everyone else to figure it out. And not only that but when I check my answer with the instructors, (one in particular at least), what usually happens is that she says, "I think that your answer is right but now I have to recalculate mine because I think I did it wrong". You're an instructor, your student who is brand new to this shouldn't be able to do it better than you after a weeks worth of powerpoints.

Outside of the job things are slow. I don't do anything. I come home watch some television sit around and go to sleep. Shower, rinse, and repeat. I don't feel particularly proud of myself right now. I'm sure that I'll get out of the rut though.

The more and more I work, the more and more I just want to say screw it and go to grad school for either an MBA or a doctorate in economics. If I had to guess right now, I would say that by this time next year I'll be doing one of those two things.

Currently Listening to... The Lawrence Arms - Oh! Calcutta!
Currently Reading... Eve's Revenge - Lillian Calles Barger
The Benedictine Handbook

Back to Life, Back to Reality

2007-04-03T14:39:00.000-04:00

Well, I'm back from a much enjoyed extended vacation. I really wish that I could take trips like that more often, but they are way to rough on the non-existent bankroll. So, they will have to continue to be infrequent.

The Faith and Music Festival at Calvin was a blast. In particular, the Sufjan concert was ridiculous. He ended up playing for a little over two hours, and cutting into the time that was supposed to be for the second show. It was great. We were fairly far back in the balcony, but the sound was great and so was the view so I really have no complaints. I also really enjoyed the talk that he gave the next day though I am too scatterbrained at the moment to recap it.

The other highlight from the festival was the showing of Danielson: A Family Movie.

I was an incredible documentary and both extremely enjoyable and inspiring. After watching it, all I wanted to do was find my guitar and start making music. The question and answer session with Daniel the next day was great as well, as he was completely open and honest and real. It was great to hear about how he does his craft and I don't even know what else to say other than that I loved it.

The other thing that I enjoyed was the talk that David Dark gave. I picked up his book, Everyday Apocalypse, because I enjoyed it so much. I loved the way that he used modern pop cultural sayings and lyrics to express things and how he dove into them, very enjoyable.

Here's what I came away with. I really want to try my hand at songwriting. It was a really inspiring weekend in that regard. Here's the other thing, I have no idea what I'm doing. So, I guess we'll just see if I can shake the embarrassment of simply assuming that anything I throw together will suck and just throw together something that sucks so that I can throw together other things that suck less.

Currently Reading... Eve's Revenge
Currently Listening to... Belle and Sebastian - Step Into My Office, Baby

And I'm in Grand Rapids

2007-03-27T16:09:00.000-04:00

Which, of course, means that I'm super-pumped. That's because this coming weekend is the Calvin College Faith and Music Festival, and it promises to be the highlight of my year/life.

Firstly, I'll be able to see Lauren Winner talk who has really impressed me with both Mudhouse Sabbath and Real Sex. Simply put she is a phenomenal writer and if she is even half as good of a speaker, then I'm in for a real treat.

Nextly, (I don't care if it's not a real word, I like it), the music is going to be nothing short of amazing. Friday night it's Sufjan Stevens and Anathallo followed by Emmylou Harris and Neko Case on Saturday. Even though I've seen him twice before, I'm still beyond excited for Sufjan. I don't know how much accompaniment he will bring so it may be interesting. I've also been wanting to see Anathallo for a while so that will be really fun. Neko is playing three nights in a row before the fest at my favorite venue in Chicago, (two are sold out already but if you are in the Chicagoland area tomorrow there are still tickets available). I haven't seen her yet either but I really enjoyed the Fox Confessor and the New Pornographers have been a favorite of mine for years. In other words she will be lovely to see. Now I'm not that familiar with Emmylou so that will be the one show were I'll have zero familiarity going into it... unless I check her out beforehand.

Continuing the awesomeness is the showing of the Danielson: a Family Movie on Friday night. I've been wanting to see this since it was making rounds at various film festivals last year.

There are also a slew of workshops that promise to be nothing short of super-sweet.
(Sidenote: I'm at BW3's right now and they are totally playing the song from Ghostbusters that goes "and I guess we're gonna have to take control". This maybe the highlight of my day. Just looked it up and the song is Bobby Brown - On Our Own.) Anyways back to the workshops; you can check them all out here just make sure that you check out all four sections linked on the page. I have no idea which I'll go to yet as they all look amazing.

Finally, Sufjan is giving a lecture. I don't know exactly what that will comprise of yet, but from what I've heard it may be a more intimate performance / talk about his music. Either way this will more than likely be my highlight.

I'll fill you in with all the detail after the weekend!

Currently Reading... Eve's Revenge
Currently Listening to... Bobby Brown - On Our Own

Another update?

2007-03-22T16:40:00.000-04:00

Okay!

So one of the things that really hit me from the trip to New Orleans is the plight of the poor and the entitlement of the rich. Walking through the poor neighborhoods and seeing that the homes had still not been either gutted or torn down is ridiculous. It has been over a year and a half! Now, really I can see that much of the rebuilding should not even be considered when the city is in such a prime position to simply go through everything all over again. Then, why hasn't it been done? Why haven't the levees been improved instead of simply rebuilt? I can also see why people do not want to leave the area regardless of how dangerous it is. Their livelihoods are there. It is all most of them have ever know. It culturally defines a good chunk of who they are and that I can relate to. Either way these people who have been displaced for this long should have at least something to rebuild with by this point and the fact that they don't is absurd. And the worst of it as far as I'm concerned? How about the brand new, beautiful, reconstructed white suburbia. Not specifically to point to race as much as class here but it is literally impossible to ignore. Really, the thing that this stirred up in me is my own sense of entitlement. Why was I raised in a culture in which things like higher education, a nice house, and comparatively anything that I wanted were available to me. Now I'm not trying to say that I feel any "white-guilt" about my circumstances, rather I feel true guilt about how I have taken everything that I have for granted. I went to college not to get an education, but because I was supposed to. My education came far down on the list of priorities that I had for myself, as attested to by my work towards it and my grades throughout it.

"Much will be required of the person entrusted with much, and still more will be demanded of the person entrusted with more." -Luke 12:48

Most of what I have been given throughout my life I have squandered. I guess the plus side to this is that I now realize what I have been given; how much more I have been given. I can no longer live in the ignorance of this fact and instead will strive to use and value what I have been given.

Currently Reading... Eve's Revenge - Lilian Calles Barger
Currently Listening to... Bright Eyes - Four Winds EP

Halfway back

2007-03-19T17:31:00.000-04:00

Well, I just got back from New Orleans on Saturday, but I'm not back up to snuff as I still have a raging cold that's knocked me flat. On the plus side it is better than it was yesterday.

I'll have a bunch to write on the trip in the next couple of days, as I don't think I'm going to write everything right now.

Right now I'll write of one Jenny Owen Youngs. We went out to Frenchman St. one of the nights that we were in NOLA and saw her perform. It was lovely. She was adorable and had the crowd in the palm of her hand the entire night. I highly recommend both fuck was i and voice on tape from her album. The highlight of the night coming at the end when she performed a stripped down acoustic version of Nelly's Hot in Herre. Absolutely hilarious.

Here's the thing. I want to write like that. I know that I can write well, at least when it comes to everyday events. Creatively, I'm just baffled. I don't know where to start. I don't know how to write as I know how to talk. I can hear melody in my head, but I can't make it come out of my guitar. I know that someday the guitar will output the melody's that I crave, but what I am not as sure of is my ability to write creatively. I know that it will come with practice, but it intimidates me. I don't want to start as I fear the result.

Currently Reading... Eve's Revenge - Lilian Calles Barger
Currently Listening to... Batten the Hatches - Jenny Owen Youngs

A whole mess of stuff

2007-02-19T19:21:00.000-05:00

Drats! I’ve been found out!

The neighbor’s open internet connection is now password protected. I guess it had to happen eventually, but I figured it may not, because I am not downloading mass amounts of things through their connection, the home landline is much better for those purposes even if it’s almost always in use by someone else.

I’ve found that my amp makes a great single speaker for my room, plug in the laptop and crank out the tunes!

Dear Miller Light truly you are a tasty cheap beer, no PBR, but tasty nonetheless.

So many things to blog about, where to start?

My birthday came around about nine days ago. Rachel was in town. It was a great weekend, and what really made it incredible was a trip to Lula’s for dinner and a visit to my new favorite bookstore afterwards. Lula Café played host to what I believe to be the greatest dinner I’ve had in my life. It was a real restaurant, with emphasis on presentation. I’d really never experienced anything quite like it. All of the food came from local sources, which made it doubly cool. Not to mention that I do not think that anything as delicious as this has ever crossed my lips before. After dinner we were off to Quimby’s. Now let me tell you what, I love that place. With a selection of comics the likes of which I’ve never seen in my life and collections upon collections of diy zines, how could it not be? I honestly spent more time trying to comprehend everything that I was seeing, then looking at everything that I was seeing. Next time I will remedy this. I highly recommend it to any and everyone who visits the good city.

As you know from the previous post, I then took an impromptu visit to Grand Rapids with the lady. It was a good, fairly uneventful trip. And in a stark contrast to how I normally operate, it was exactly what I needed.

Last night I went to Brazzaz, a Brazilian steakhouse downtown with Matt, Chester, Ben, Christy, Joel, and Amy, (I believe that I remembered his wife’s name correctly). It was all you can eat and did we ever. These people just walked around with these skewers of the greatest steak, chicken, lamb, etc. and cut you off some. I had to have eaten minimum two to three lbs of meat. It’s was crazy and I was crazy full upon leaving. The best steaks of my life. Matt and Chester picked up my tab as a birthday gift, thanks guys!

Rachel gave me a new messenger bag for my birthday; something that I was in desperate need of. Thanks babe!

I’m incredibly psyched for 24 tonight!

I’ve been on a reading mini-binge as of late. It has been so refreshing. Since I last blogged I have finished World War Z. Started and finished Mudhouse Sabbath by Lauren Winner, (more to come on that one). Started and finished Carnet de Voyage by Craig Thompson, which was his sketchbook/journal from his time in Europe in promotion of his outstanding graphic novel Blankets. I loved getting a glimpse in to his life, thoughts, muses, the sites he saw, and the interactions with both locals and fans and friends both old and new. Back to Mudhouse. I need to reread it. I loved it. It tells the tale of Lauren’s desire to find out how she may incorporate many of the practices of her Jewish upbringing with her newfound Christianity. I will try to write more in depth on the actual substance of the book at a later time.

Currently Listening to… All things Sufjan Stevens
Ted Leo and the Pharmacists – Living With the Living
(here's a little taste from a song off it performed live by the man himself)

Modest Mouse – We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank (if you haven't heard the first single stream it from the link)

Currently Reading… Project: Romantic – An anthology dedicated to love and love stuff
Girl Meets God – Lauren Winner
Box Office Poison – Alex Robinson

Up, Up, and Away

2007-02-12T13:09:00.000-05:00

So as a spur of the moment decision, I'm taking a little vacation in Grand Rapids. One semi-unexpected benefit of this is that I'm really not wasting the mass amounts of time that I have in the day. Since I know virtually no one here, I have the entire day to devote to looking for a job and all of the other things that I'm not, but should be doing.

It's snowing here, it reminds me of those lazy Tech days when I would sit down and just watch the snow come lightly down. It's one of those snows that I love. It's not blustery or coming down hard. It just exists. I wouldn't even say that the snow is falling, it seems to harsh. There is simply snow in the air and fluttering this way and that, but mainly it is moving steadily, slowly, downward with a new flake to take it's place as each descends. There is simply snow in the air, and I love it.

The bitter cold has broken and while I hear from some people that it will return shortly, I am happy about this spell and will savor every moment of it.

I'm in the coffee shop again. I love sitting down, drinking and thinking. About nothing. Nothing in particular at least. And writing. I would like to be writing more, I would always like to be writing more. A stark contrast to my youth. Writing was always an arduous task for me. Something a dreaded in my youth. Something that did not come easily to me. So many things came easily to me; I had little to no roadblocks in whatever I did. It's hard to say now that I wish I did have those roadblocks. But I almost do. If there were more present in my life would I have buckled? Would I have persevered? That I didn't seems almost unfair, that I was intrinsically inclined to excel at almost all I undertook. Why was I blessed with so much while others were to struggle through. Not that I am that full of myself that I think I am great at nearly everything I have done, mind you. I have been soft because of this. In the beginning of college I did little to no work, and I received A's. Again everything came so easily. When things finally decided to become harder, I learned that I could not simply put forth zero effort anymore. It was a shock to the system. I failed classes because I didn't attend them or do any work for them. I buckled. I saw something difficult and decided it would be easier to do nothing at all. However, I have bounced back since then. I have rediscovered a love of learning. A love of things that do not come easily for me. I'm reveling in it. I want to accomplish great things. If I am greatly gifted in something I want to pursue it further, not simply stop when I believe that it is becoming difficult. I believe that I am capable of great things. But back to where this began... writing. I've developed a desire to write. I love it. It's cathartic. It's different. I think that it has helped me to gain perspective on myself and life. And no matter if I am not a good writer, it is rewarding.

My goal for this week is to apply for a decent number of jobs. No set total. Just an amount that makes me feel comfortable, that makes me feel as if I put forth a good effort and made headway.

I'm happy, relaxed, and really feeling good about life. It's nice.

Currently Listening to... A Tribe Called Quest - Beats, Rhymes, and Life

Currently Reading... World War Z

Business Analyst

2007-02-08T17:10:00.000-05:00

Oh man....

As crazy as it seems I think that I finally found out what I want to do for my first job out of college. The answer is in the title... business analyst. So, I was busy scouring the net for a job, any job. In other words I'm sick of not having one. Then I came across a posting for a business analyst position for a gas company in Hotlanta and I thought, "I could totally do this!" And as such I have finally found a way to narrow down what I want to do. I'm actually going to find a job now. I'm, yet again, TomCruisePumpedtm. Even if I don't work for this company that I found, I know what I'm going to do for my first job now and that has me excited.

Rachel is coming on in to town tomorrow as well; another thing for me to be TomCruisePumpedtm about.

I'm turning 25 on this Saturday. This will be one of the last significant birthdays that I will have. 25 just seems like it's the beginning of adulthood. The beginning of being old. The beginning of the end? Not really that one, but it's fun to say to old people. I'm out of college. It's time to live. I couldn't be happier.

Now Reading... World War Z

Now Listening to... Tom Waits - Orphans: Brawlers, Bawlers, and Bastards (it's amazing)

P.S. if you are looking for an enjoyable novel I highly recommend Diane Setterfield's - The Thirteenth Tale. An excellent story all around.

Daaaaannnng It's cold

2007-02-05T18:56:00.000-05:00

Even after all of the time that I spent up at Tech, I'm still fazed by this cold-snap. Now it's finally supposed to break, if you can call it that, on Wednesday and the scheduled temperature is about 18 degrees or so. I think that this is the first time in my life that I'm happy that it's going to be in the teens. I believe that it hit on Thursday and has pretty much stayed like this for the duration. Again... I'm pumped like Tom Cruise for the teens. (Out of context, that sentence is and was hilarious)

The Bears game didn't exactly go as I predicted. Humble-pie devoured.

As much as I don't want to say that we have a quarterback problem... we might. Rex has so many things that he needs to work on. As of now, he is not a franchise quarterback. But I really want him to become one. I want a 3rd to 4th round qb in the upcoming draft that may be able to put Rex on the hot seat, or a free agent that may compete for the job... i.e. better than Griese.

Currently reading... World War Z, and Thirteenth Tale (audiobook)

Currently listening to... Cold War Kids - Hang Me Up To Dry

Two Awesome Things

2007-02-04T01:00:00.000-05:00

As I speak I am coming off of a four hour long bender from guitar hero. It is simply the greatest thing ever invented and way more fun than it should be. That's the first awesome thing. The second is that it just turned midnight and that means that it is superbowl day! Oh it's on. Prediction... Bears - 394, Colts - 0

Currently reading... World War Z, The Thirteenth Tale (audiobook)

Currently listening to... Against Me!

Groundhoggles

2007-02-02T16:00:00.000-05:00

So I did one awesome thing today... and that's watch the movie Groundhog's Day. It's just as good as I ever remember it being.

I needed to get out of the house so I headed on down to where I am now, Beaners. MMMmm... coffee. I never thought that I would see the day where I would say that, but as a few of you know I've made it my goal to start to drink coffee. And after a half a year, I've totally got this taste acquired. *Backs up to the beginning of the day* So, I spent a good portion of this morning just surfing around and looking for a job and the one thing that I have a hard time decifering is which of the fifty-million jobs out there are decent and worth persuing. That's the hardest part for me right now. I'm feeling better about it now.. i.e. not as anxious to just have a job. Which is good. I really just don't want to take the first thing that I'm offered. (Which I didn't).

So I also got this great idea. Using the magic of bittorrent I'm now downloading audiobooks to listen to while I'm doing dealer trades for my dad. I did one the other day and was listening to Diane Setterfield's The Thirteenth Tale. Here's the thing that I find interesting about audiobooks in my albeit short experiences so far. It takes a little bit to get accostomed to hearing a book. You know how some books take a little bit to get into, well now you have that combined with getting into a frame of mind to listen. It can be work sometimes. You have to pay attention, (at least I do), because you can lose track of what is happening easily. In this respect it is much like reading as well, because I'm sure I'm not the only one who gets into a reading mode in which all of a sudden you realize that you really haven't taken in anything for the last few pages and have to back up. The similarities are actually vast yet with slight differences. As for the book itself. I'm four cd's in and it's good. Very engrossing. So far it gets a thumbs up.

Currently Listening to... Silversun Pickups - Carnavas
Rival Schools - United by Fate (Thank you Patrick)

Currently Reading... World War Z
(audiobook) The Thirteenth Tale - Diane Setterfield

Oh and also, spring is right around the corner! The bitter cold tells lies!

Hey!

2007-01-24T16:57:00.000-05:00

Without school as a constant priority you would think that I would have a ton of time for things like this. And I do. However, those unemployed and out of school can also attest that when this is your current situation, you literally waste your days away. Not to go and be all emo, but it's sucks. Anyways with this free time there are a lot of things that I should and want to be doing. Here are a few.

Blogging
It doesn't take a whole lot out of my day to do this, but it always falls by the wayside. I enjoy writing and this is pretty much my only outlet for it... well, I have one more but we'll get to that later. Either way, the new goal is to get this activity up to three times a week.

Journaling
I told you I'd get to it later. I really feel like I need to be doing this every day. So that's the goal. Every morning I'll spend ten minutes journaling. I feel that it will help me get off to a more productive day and keep me from turning into a disgusting slacker.

Guitaring
I really want to become a better guitarist and the only way that that will happen is through, wait for it, practice. Yeah, go figure. My big problem is that I never know what to play and if I cannot figure out that part the rest gets very hard. It's not much, but I'm going to try and dedicate 15 minutes a day on the ole' guitar. I figure that that will keep me playing and motivated to play more. If you have any ideas of what I should learn to play, throw them in the comments.

Job Searching
This is the most difficult part for me. I get on the internet to look for a job and my mind goes blank. I don't know where to look, I don't know how to look, and I don't know what I'm looking for. I call it the golden trifecta. My parents are starting to tell me that the only way I'll find something halfway decent is to network. Awesome. Well, not to bash it but I'm not a huge fan of this. I want to receive a job because I'm the best for it and not because a friend of my aunt's sister knows someone who knows someone. Although, this is probably just a lame excuse as it shouldn't matter how I get an interview, seeing as an interview is usually all I need to get a job. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I consistently kill interviews, you know, the kind of interview where you are unofficially offered the job in the interview because you did so well in it. If only I could get a job in taking interviews for other people. Now that would be great.

Exercising
Yeah... still out of shape here I come. It's not that I'm grotestquely overweight or that I am at all really. It's that when I'm in shape I feel so much better about everything. I just feel good about myself. Target is situps and push ups three times a week and something cardio twice a week. I think even that little amount is obtainable and beneficial.

Reading
I'm not reading nearly enough. I'm going to read for a minimum of an hour a day.

That's really all I've got for now. If you can think of awesome things I should be doing let me know!

Currently listening to... Menomena - Friend and Foe
Currently reading... GK Chesterton - Orthodoxy, and Max Brooks - World War Z

Christmas!

2006-12-29T16:01:00.000-05:00

Christmas, (much like school), has come and gone. Now I know what you are all thinking, what did he get present-wise. Don’t worry, I’ll let you know.

From the Parents / Santa, (two entirely different entities that for some reason I’m grouping together):

An amplifier, an electric guitar (as seen below, only with a blue pickguard instead),

and a harmonica

From James:

How to Survive a Robot Uprising

From Matt:

An awesome Sufjan silk-screened poster

From Mike:

Still pending, he had bought me an excellent cd, but I already had it

From Chester:

World War Z!

I wish I had money for gifts, but as of now, I’m a practically broke unemployed Michigan Tech Graduate. Hopefully that will be remedied in a couple of weeks! I don’t really know where I’m going to work yet, but I’m not too worried about finding work, maybe I should be, but I’m really not. I’m going to look in the Chicagoland and Grand Rapids areas, and apply to Cat. I’d like to stay in the Chicagoland area but the job that I like most will probably decide where I end up, and I’m trying to stay as impartial as possible with the location. Wish me luck in the job hunt!

Currently Listening to… Ted Leo + Pharmacists – Shake the Sheets, (go to the audio section for free songs!)

Currently Reading… G.K. Chesterton – Orthodoxy (maybe this will pick up now that I’m an unemployed gradutate!)

Maybe

2006-11-29T10:37:00.000-05:00

Maybe, just maybe, I caught the break I needed. At least a break that should help to keep me sane for another couple of days. The exam that I wasn't prepared for at all this week was pushed back a couple of days. I have time, I need to use it.

As for the keep me sane comment... I really feel like I'm starting to lose it. Like edge of a nervous breakdown lose it. I think I've been riding the edge for the last few school weeks. It's not a fun place to be. So if you read this please pray for me. I can use all the prayer that I can get.

Two and heif weeks remain...

Currently Listening to... The Weakerthans - Left and Leaving

Currently Reading... G.K. Chesterton - Orthodoxy

All I know...

2006-11-08T17:51:00.000-05:00

... is that Rumsfeld is no more. That alone is enough to make me a happy Dan. I'm going to go out on quite a thin and long branch here and say that when eight retired generals are calling for your resignation in an army that has traditionally supported each other no matter what and not questioned leading officials, that you've probably done a poor job.

As far as the elections go... I don't know. I'm happy that the Democrats took control of the House, maybe even the Senate, but that alone will not right the ship. Now is the time to set aside partisanship and really try and work out this Iraq debacle and figure out the best resolution, Rumsfeld's ousting being the first key step. Unfortunately, this leave few to no good choices. With Saddam gone, leaving before a stable government is in place will leave an Iran that's itching to take control when we leave. As bad as Saddam was, is it possible that a strengthened Iran could be worse? I hope not. I don't know... I still don't know what could possibly be done that will help us in this situation and to think that the elections of Democrats to power will solve the situation is assanine. After all as Steven Colbert would say, "It's only been a day since they've been in power and already we're stuck in this unwinnable war!" I pray that a good solution would be found and that sanity would be restored. Maybe we should just take Rachel's advice and become a neo-mercantilistic country.

I don't know if any of that made any sense whatsoever...

Now Reading... G.K. Chesterton - Orthodoxy
Now Listening to... Emily Hanes & The Soft Skeleton - The Lottery

I Hate, Hate, Hate the UP

2006-11-06T12:58:00.000-05:00

Why you ask, I'll freakin' tell you why. No Borat... anywhere. All I want is to go see the movie, and I don't believe it, but I don't think that it's playing in a single movie theatre in all of the UP. How is this physically possible? Even here I should be able to see the big blockbuster movies, (and don't tell me this isn't one, any movie that tops the box office is). How did no theatre in the UP see this coming? Seriously? Okay once more to vent and for emphasis... AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Reason #2... I'm absolutely sick of school at this point. I know that's not the UP's fault, I've just been here for too long and I'm fairly certain that my head is going to explode. This week, if I don't slack off, should be especially rough with still more catching up to do and more work piling in. I feeling like I'm trying to climb up a mountain that gives way with every step... or run up an escalator that's going down, at Mach 3. Any standing around for a second and I'm all the way at the bottom again.

Okay, so maybe hate is a strong word and maybe the UP doesn't deserve it... but I'm fairly certain that if I was back home in Chicago right now, I wouldn't be feeling like I'm about to have an aneurysm.

Currently Reading... G.K. Chesterton - Orthodoxy
Currently Listening to... Damien Rice - Rootless Tree

Slackin'

2006-10-25T23:01:00.000-04:00

I really have got to get myself out of this funk that I'm in. I've started to, which is important, but I'm not there yet. How do I know? Well, I'm currently in the library trying, unsuccessfully as of now, to get to studying for a class that I've put off since the last exam I had in it. So here's the deal that I'm going to attempt to make with myself. I've been averaging 14 hours of work per weekend. Now that I've quit my job I have 14 more hours per weekend in which to work. I figure if I can put at least half of that time, more would be preferable but for now we'll set the bar low, that I had been working into doing schoolwork, I should be able to right the ship fairly quickly. But of course, only time will tell.

I recently found out that my family has a friend that works for the technical sales division at Cat, a place that as of right now I wouldn't mind working. So we'll pursue the channels and see what comes up. I figure that with my time as an intern at Cat, I should at least be able to get an interview, and I've always been fairly good at those, so... we'll see.

I was in the mall the other day because I was looking to buy arrows for archery class, and what do you know the bookstore sucked me in again. This time I came out with The Best American Comics 2006. I'm pumped to read it. I also saw this one volume addition of Bone but decided that I simply couldn't afford to buy it now... especially at the $40 in store price. Well I guess for once I'll have to be patient, however, I'm not so good at that.

Well, time to hit the books...

Currently Reading... G.K. Chesterton - Orthodoxy
Currently Listening to... The Shins - Wincing the Night Away (hooray for leaks, i.e. it's not due out till January 2007!)

Has it really been over a month?

2006-10-23T11:00:00.000-04:00

Well, as you can plainly see, yes it has. So we'll do a quick life recap...

School:
School could be going better, or at least the attention that I pay it could. I have pretty much slacked way to much at the beginning of the semester. Not doing all of my homework, skipping classes and all that jazz. Last week it kind of hit me, if I don't start to turn that around I'll be here another semester, and I absolutely cannot afford that. So, last week with its three exams afforded me that opportunity to play the catch up game. I'm still not one-hundred percent caught up but the exams should have helped my cause, (I've gotten two of them back including the one that I thought I did the worst on, which I actually probably did the best on, (47/47). This week's tasks are to do all of the econometrics homework that I haven't done and try to see if I can get my teacher to accept some partial credit on it, turn in a late finance homework set, figure out a paper topic and write an outline for mineral economics, do homework for design and analysis of experiments, start archery, and go to every class I have this week. In other words I'm going to be a little busy this week.

Work:
I put in my two weeks notice. I figured that I wanted to make sure that I actually finished up well in school and I really just wanted to enjoy my last semester up here. I think that my last day was last night, but I'm not entirely sure of that. Either way, because of it my money will be tight and I have to start spending accordingly. I'm extremely happy about this.

Life:
Life's been very good, which is probably part of the reason that school isn't. Although staying way to late every night is starting to get to me, I think that the earliest that I got to be last week was around three or so. Also, I feel as though I'm turning into Jason his last semester up here, in that I do not live at the guy's house any longer, but I spend all of my time there. It's kind of ridiculous. Also I got this spiffy new computer that I am now blogging from. It's MacBook Pro. I know, I've now officially gone to the dark side... and I like it. While it cost a pretty penny I have a feeling that it's one of the better investments that I've made. So far it has already paid dividends in that I've been bringing it to the library and actually been doing homework, (I know, it's crazy). I also hope and think that it will get me to become a little more regular in my updating.

Crusade:
Praise band has been going well this year. Personally, I feel that I'm playing and singing very solidly which is great. Also I think I might have found someone to take over when I'm gone, which is a huge stress off of my back. It seems as though we have a really solid core of freshmen this year as well, which really excites me. So many crusaders have been huge blessings in my life so far this semester and I'd just like to thank some of them, whether they see this or not. Thank you Tim, Kurt, Josh, and Anna; you've made this semester great for me and I cannot thank you enough for all that you have done. All in all I would say that the ministry is going fairly well this year, it's a good thing.

I probably have more to talk about... but we'll do that later.

Currently listening to... Xiu Xiu - The Air Force

Currently reading... G.K. Chesterton - Orthodoxy

I'm Just Going to Let This One Speak For Itself...

2006-09-14T09:42:00.000-04:00

In fact I did drop off the face of the planet...

2006-09-11T18:11:00.000-04:00

So yeah.... I finally got my computer up and running at the new place. Hopefully this means that there will be more updates in the near future. I don't really have anything to write about now though... so I'll just say go bears and I'm not dead!

Currently Listening to... Ted Leo - Live @ South Street Seaport
Currently Reading... C.S. Lewis - The Great Divorce

And a quick update...

2006-08-23T01:35:00.000-04:00

Update

I guess this came off a little more depreciating then I would have liked for it to. Rest assured I do believe that I am very creative... I was just feeling at the time that I wasn't. I just feel like I have to learn how to better tap into said creativity. This was supposed to come across a little more hopeful than it did... anyways, enough with the forward and get reading!

I actually started moving today... If it were up to me I probably would have put it off longer but Andy got here today, so out went all of the things that I had in that room. I'm probably about half moved over to the new place, and the stuff that is here has begun to get organized. Hopefully I'll bring it over tomorrow.

It's 1:30 in the a.m. and I'm barely, if at all, tired. I woke up early... relatively at least, today so I'm not quite sure what has brought about this bout of restlessness. I need to do something with it so I think that I'm going to read after I'm done posting.

I watched V for Vendetta today and I'll say that it get worse with each subsequent viewing... maybe I'm just bitter about how the story got twisted and things that were left out that should have been in there.

I was playing guitar tonight as well. I'm glad that I took it up. My biggest problem is figuring out what I want to play. I'm too tight when just "goofing around" on it. I'm much looser and play much better playing a set of chords laid out for me. I know music and I know what sounds good when I hear it yet I can't bring myself to create. I have the same problem with words. When given a topic and an outline of what is needed I can, I believe, write well. However, when told to simply write I struggle to find something to write of. I feel that if I could just let go and take a chance that I could write something good. Am I cursed to be good at imitation and not creation? I hope not. The sounds are there yet I can't pull them out. The words are there and yet they aren't. Creativity is on the tip of my tongue and yet I cannot form the wind to blow it off into something new and beautiful. For as long as I can remember I have wanted to create things... however in my search all I have learned is repetition.

Helping my mom make cookies as a child was a chance... to follow a recipie.

Getting a science kit as kid was a chance... to follow formulas.

Drawing... was simply tracing.

Words, writing... was done in 3 to 5 paragraphs with an introduction, and conclusion. The body of the piece had to contain specific elements or it was with out merit. Oh, and make sure that it is on this topic. Whoever said that "restrictions breed creativity" needs to be taken out behind the chemical shed and shot.

Music... was intimate... yet never mine. It was someone else who was able to say what I wanted to. Someone else to create melodies and space in which I could lose myself. Maybe this is why enjoy it so... music is a haven... a haven in which I can lose myself. However this is off topic. When I finally got a guitar last year and learned to play I learned chords, and chord progressions that made up songs. Never anything that I made, always something by someone else to imitate.

So I find myself at 24 years, 6 months, and 13 days with an intense longing to create and no idea how to do so. Is there anyway to learn how to create? Or am I simply destined to follow, to imitate, to suffocate on my inability to remove the barriers in my mind that keep me from simply making.

On the plus side, blogging has served me well. To write with no restrictions, no expectations is liberating. Maybe there is light at the end of the creativity tunnel... no matter how far that light is in the distance.

I guess this didn't turn out to be the quick update the title said it would be.

Currently Reading... Ian McEwen - Saturday
Currently Listening to... Cobra Starship - Snakes on a Plane (Bring It)

Moving Day

2006-08-20T09:14:00.000-04:00

Well, I don't know if I'll actually start to move today, but I definitely am going to start to pack some things up. I always dread moving... it's such a hassle. That and being a slacker by nature, work does not come naturally to me. For example, I've been putting off packing/moving for a couple of weeks now and since people are starting to come up here I finally have to get a move on. I still haven't applied for a loan for this coming semester... that I need to do seeing as I need to graduate this coming semester and the university, crazy as it sounds, doesn't let you take classes if you haven't paid for them. Sigh... I need to get all over these kinds of things so that procrastination doesn't define my last semester up here.

Let's see... it's been a while since the last update. I'll see what I can remember as to what has happened of late.

Last week, or I guess almost two weeks ago now Josh was house-sitting for his professor at his place on Little Traverse Bay. Needless to say I spent most of the week up there hanging out by the beach and almost dying. What's that? Almost dying? Yes... Kurt and I took the two person kayak out to the island five miles out into Lake Superior along with Anna and Maya in their canoe. We heard that the island was chock-full of raspberries ripe for the picking. Well we get out there and the raspberries are scarce to say the least. So after traversing the island a bit we decide to head out... only now the wind has changed so it doesn't promise to be the easiest trip back. Well we get probably two miles out before the waves turn to "flood the kayak" levels no matter what angle we take. Needless to say, Kurt and I take on too much water and flip. Desperately trying to save the kayak and make it to shore that happens to be about a mile off in the distance isn't something that I would like to repeat. Anna and Maya came over in the canoe, which was still handling the waves and helped us get the kayak to shore. And by shore I mean 30 or so foot tall rock face. Well the waves suck too much for us to reboard and try to make it back so we start to navigate the shallow waters by foot and carry the kayak with us. Somewhere between a quarter and half mile we give up on this quest because the waves are causing the kayak and canoe to slam into us every other second like a linebacker. We put the kayak and canoe as high up as we can and decide to get them in the morning. We then hike the last mile and a half, barefoot, over all forms of unfriendly rocks. Finally we get back safe and sound and with blistered feet. We return in the calm of the morning to get the vessels, and let me tell you that it's amazing how much nicer and less deathly that hike was while wearing shoes.

What else has happened recently... ah yes, vespers.

Two Thursdays ago we,(Kurt, Carey, and I), found out that we would get to play vespers together. We had lobbied for this for a bit and now got the opportunity. Kurt was on lead acoustic, Carey on acoustic bass and backing vocals, and me on rhythm acoustic and vocals. Unfortuately late Thursday night leaves not much time for practice... especially when I work Friday and Saturday night and Carey works Friday during the day. Both Carey and I practiced individually with Kurt once prior to last Sunday at noon we finally all got together and finally got some quality practice in. We took a break for Carmelita's in Calumet and to make powerpoint slides but outside of that it was pretty much straight practicing from noon to 9 when we played. I don't know how my fingers were able to last but last they did. It turned out really well and each of us was really excited by how it went. I think that we are going to play TNT, (possibly being renamed Cru this coming semester), a few times. Possibly even playing the first one as the praise band was not able to practice over the summer. Oh and that brings me to this... I'm going to both play guitar and sing in the praise band this year. Vespers convinced me that I can do it and I think that it would be very good for us to have the person leading the band on an instrument. So... there you go... oh yeah! I have a new favorite worship song to play/sing and it is For the Cross by Matt Redman.

I'm sure that there is more for me to write but seeing as I'd been away for a bit I think that this will tide you over for now.

Currently Reading... Saturday - Ian McEwan

Currently Listening to... The Crane Wife - The Decemberists (don't you love it when cd's leak two months early!)

So...

2006-08-06T03:00:00.000-04:00

Something crazy happened this summer... I got better at guitar. Not good... we won't go that far yet, but maybe mediocre. Not only that, but I can sing mediocrely at the same time... So now that I'm passable doing both at the same time, I have to figure out if I want to play both at Campus Crusades meetings. Before I just sang, and we did lose a guitarist to the air force academy. So instead of just singing maybe I'll do both... but I'm not sure yet. I am however very pleased with my progress.

I finally finished the Bonhoeffer book... wow did that take forever. But I'm glad that I stuck it out to the end, I don't want to form a habit of dropping books when I feel like it... also my favorite parts of the book were in the end. Either way I'll describe it like this... it was arduous. Now on to, hopefully, an accelerated reading schedule.

Well it's three in the morning and church is at 9:30 so I'm off to bed.

Currently Listening to... Xiu Xiu - I Luv the Valley, (Oh!)
Currently Reading... Vance and Burr - Kings in Disguise

An Unusual Brand of Poetry

2006-08-01T11:15:00.000-04:00

So here's the deal, for some reason my spam mail has become entirely too amusing. I don't know if this is happening to everyone or just me, but I do know that it's amazing! After getting the obligatory viagra, cialis, home morgage, etc. there will be simply nonsensical sentences... like this...

there is a weak link in the chain of logic.
I will admit it has its ludicrous sidebut only at first
front of my body. I remembered the hope that this would
Incompetent. You dont see any robots like this in the

battlewagon. These changes could be made during
skin left to pick up with a tweezer. Now if you please.

charge and I would swear on a stack of thousand credit
sight behind a row of lubrication drums. I gently pried
Along the entire length of the alley my smoke bombs

Amazing or what!? If you get any good ones throw them in the comments.

Currently Listening to... Cubs in Five - The Mountain Goats
Currently Reading... The Cost of Discipleship - Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Kings in Disguise - Vance and Burr

I've got a disease...

2006-07-23T19:59:00.000-04:00

I believe that it is called bookstoritis. You've probably never heard it's clinical name before, so I'll elaborate on the symptoms. Upon entering a bookstore you receive a warm and tingling feeling inside, I'll liken it to a high that one would get from a drug... or at least, I'd assume that's what it's like. The next stage is termed browsing. One suffering from bookstoritis will wander, seemingly aimless at times, and his/her arms will slowly accumulate books, books that before entering would not have been in their minds to buy. Slowly the victim realizes that there is no way that they can afford all of these books and therefore sets many of them back, hoping that they will come back at a later date to buy them. Of course reality dictates that many of these books will never be bought by the diseased creature and likely never seen again. (Rare occurrences allot for exceptions). Finally they leave with many a new book in hand.

Other symptoms include: Being drawn to bookstores if in a nearby vicinity, depending upon the person, this can be miles away; Buying more books than you have time to read; Extreme weightloss as dictated by your bank account's lack of food purchasing power.

As you can tell I walked into a bookstore planning to buy nothing today... things don't always go as planned.

Fables: Arabian Nights (and Days) - Bill Willingham: Simply put, the best comic series that I have ever read. This is the first time that they have carried any of the Fables series at any of the bookstores up here. Needless to say, I had to get it.

On Bullshit - Harry G. Frankfurt: I had heard this book mentioned before but I still can't place where. It was written by a moral philosopher from Princeton and clocks in at about 60 pages. It was small and I was intrigued, throw it in the bag...

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince- J.K. Rowling: Now hold up. I know what you're saying. "Dan doesn't this go against everything that you've ever stood for?", "Why (*sobbing uncontrollably*)", Not to mention the shock and fainting due to extreme disappointment and/or joygasms. Now we get to the justification part... or as I like to call it "The Laugh Zone". What? Conan copyrighted laugh zone? Dang. Take two... or as I like to call it "Fun With Word Manipulation". As many of you know I was planning on reading this series, however you also know that I wanted to wait until the hype/craze/hullaballoo died down to do so. Well, when I saw this book in the store on the bargain rack with a 75% off sticker on it, I thought maybe it finally all died down... I should still wait a while anyways. Then I realized that it was the full color, hardcover, collectors edition. And that 75% off meant that it was now $15. Well that I couldn't resist. So the long and short is that I now have to find the previous five and catch up.

Currently Reading... Fables: Arabian Nights (and Days) - Bill Willingham
The Cost of Discipleship - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Currently Listening to... Penny on the Train Track - Ben Kweller (mp3)

P.S. Spellcheck wants to change Conan to Cowman... giggle
P.P.S. I'll try to get back on the ball with the blogging, it's been a little while.

I win at life

2006-07-11T01:24:00.000-04:00

Today, (or tonight actually), I purchased Sufjan Stevens Tickets. I will see him in Milwaukee on Monday, September 25. This will be the defining moment of my life. That is all.

Soccer Has Totally Redemed Itself

2006-07-09T19:22:00.000-04:00

I take back everything bad I ever said about soccer.

Look Not on Our Sins...

2006-07-09T10:38:00.000-04:00

In the catholic church there is a part during mass in which the priest says "Look not on our sins but on the faith of your church". I have always loved this verse. That is what all of us believers would hope for; that God in his mercy would look past our sins to our faith. However, this is also what scares me. The faith of the church is not strong. I wish I could say otherwise, but I cannot. Too many people simply go through the motions. It saddens me. My prayer is that we would become a church of faith above and beyond, and I was extremely pleased to hear this in our homily today. Our gospel message today was from when Jesus was beginning his ministry and was invited back to Nazareth. He preached and the people were astounded by what he was saying, but when they realized that it was the Jesus of Mary and Joseph that grew up around them they quickly lost faith in what he was saying. They thought this is just one of us, how can he make any difference? I think that we have this same problem today. It takes such an incredible act to shake us, to make us pay attention, to make us care. It shouldn't.

Currently Listening to... Regina Spektor - Fidelity
Currently Reading... Kings in Disguise - Vance and Burr
The Cost of Discipleship - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Up at Six

2006-07-07T07:19:00.000-04:00

It's always weird for me to find out that people read this. I suppose that I have linked to this blog in a couple of places, but it still strikes me as odd when I find out that people read it. Should it? No... but it does. I read other people's blogs all of the time. I'm interested in their lives. Why do I feel as if people shouldn't wonder at mine? I'm happy that people are interested in my life, as anyone would be. All of us have a need to connect to people, even if it is through writing.

Now that I mention it is there a better correspondence than writing? (Besides face to face that is.) You have time to say what you want, you are on no timetable that would dictate when you need to be heard, you are alone with your thoughts and in control of which ones escape. Writing is so elegant, why do I not write letters? Other mediums are crude. AIM is ugly, like stunted conversation, though it is used extensively in our culture of needing everything now. Through it writing's greatest flaw is exploited, the ability to be understood. By placing writing in the context of real-time conversation, people are less apt to watch what they write and more apt to come across poorly to each other. The phone loses so much through the lack of visuals and closeness. You may be physically talking to the person, but for me at least, non-verbal communication is just as important as verbal in a conversation. It suffers for this, for the inability to bring a sense of intimacy that is found in face-to-face discussion. For lack of another word, it is cold. Writing on the other hand is warm. Immediately the recipient is disarmed, and in a couple of ways. That someone took the time to write to them is very flattering, opening up the listener to hear the writer. It also places the writer in a vulnerable spot. Writing your life, your words, your thoughts to paper in a way empties you of them. (I don't know if that makes sense... maybe it isn't the best way to put it.) But it leaves you exposed, (much better). The ability to take the time to say what you mean is also priceless, as is the ability to take the time to comprehend what others say. And after all of this, all that I have said about writing... why do I not write to others?

I want to... to start at least. If you would like a letter from me tell me so in the comments. I will try and write you one. I need to keep better contact with my friends, I pray this will help. Some of you will get a letter regardless of whether or not you ask, this is because you deserve one for writing me and for taking the time to be my friend. I'm sorry to all the friends that I have that I have not kept up with and I hope I can change that.

Now a little less heavy material.

Danielson. This man is amazing. Mind you I say this not to discredit any of the others in his band. He put out what could easily become my favorite record of the year and my favorite song of the year. I have been listening to this record ever since I woke up this morning and am fast falling in love with it. Also watch the trailer for the documentary coming out!

I woke at 6:15 AM today. It feels good. I need to do this more often. I think I'll go have breakfast, I haven't eaten breakfast in, well, probably about a month. I think I'm due.

Currently Listening to... Ships - Danielson

Currently Reading... Kings in Disguise - Vance and Burr
The Cost of Discipleship - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Yeah...

2006-07-05T14:04:00.000-04:00

Well as most of you have undoubtedly read here Rachel and I have broken up. Hopefully time apart will give both of us some needed clarity in our lives. I can't say that it doesn't hurt because that would make me a liar, but I can say that I am hopeful for our future as friends for now and I still hope that sometime down the road we will be together. I glad for everything that we've gone through and everything that we will continue to go through in a different context.

Ask anything you want as I'm definitely willing to answer any and all questions.

Currently Listening to... Jose Gonzalez - Heartbeats

Currently Reading... The Cost of Discipleship - Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Kings in Disguise - James Vance and Dan Burr

I'm Disgusting

2006-06-29T14:48:00.000-04:00

You know how working out, i.e. going for a run, usually makes you feel better? No? Well it usually does for me. However, now all I can think of is how disgusting I have become. Not necessarily on the outside, because I look fine and all... but personally. I'm not quite sure if I have ever really been this out of shape and it really sickens me. I want to get back into shape, however one of my other lackluster qualities, sloth, has had other plans for me. Here's what I'm thinking though. A run everyday regardless of what else I do. I ran about 3.5, or according to mapquest 3.76, miles today and that's probably going to be about the minimum that I want to do. That will be one of the things. The other that may sometimes take it's place and may just be added right up on top comes from my basketball days. I have never been in better shape in my life than when I was playing basketball. I figure if I head up to the sdc and play for about 2 hours with sprints thrown in as well, 10 in 1's and suicide sprints, that should also help me to get into better shape. The main thing that is going to be the hardest about this is to form a habit of it. What's the saying? It takes a month to create a new habit. Something like that. Pray I have the discipline to keep it up. I need to be in better shape.

Superman Returns... should I see it? I'm not quite sold yet... but I'm thinking about it.

Along the getting in shape lines... anybody have a decent recipe for food that's decent for me?

The music review should be coming up in a couple of days in the comments of that post so watch out for it.

Currently Listening to... 50 Fine Lines - IGIF (compilation)
Currently Reading... The Cost of Discipleship - Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Ghost World - Daniel Clowes

New Music Anyone?

2006-06-27T19:41:00.000-04:00

So one of the blog's that I frequent recently put together what they called "50 Fine Lines". This was, for them, a compilation of the best singles so far this year or I should say, singles that they have discovered this year as some are older. I will admit it's a really good compilation, what I've listened to of it so far at least. Here's what I want you to do, tell me what you like out of the comp, what piqued your interest, or what you just didn't like. I'll do the same when I have some time, but please put your thoughts in the comments.

Here's the link...

Currently Reading... The Cost of Discipleship - Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Currently Listening to... 50 Fine Lines - IGIF (compilation)

I'm scared

2006-06-27T16:23:00.000-04:00

Oh is it a competition you want?

2006-06-25T20:53:00.000-04:00

Don't worry... this is only to one up Jason.

Oh Maury, you're such a bastard...

Best. Dream. Ever.

2006-06-23T11:02:00.000-04:00

Okay, time to try to remember all of it...

So I'm in church and the priest gets up and says, today we have some special visitors... Castro and his friends from Cuba! Please make them feel welcome as they will be helping us with mass today. So a Cuban in a wheelchair makes his way to the front to great us and in doing so informs us that Cuba will be running a fund raiser in the back. So everyone goes to the back of the church and looks through the things that they brought: years old candies with mold, other food that looked rotten, and all kinds of decrepit things. After we all look though everything, Castro comes to the front and asks if anyone would be willing to bid 3 to 5 dollars for anything. Then one older, kindly looking, man jumps up and says "I'll take it all". And then I wake up...

Thoughts?

Currently Reading... The Cost of Discipleship - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Currently Listening to... Sufjan Stevens - The Avalance (advance cd)

Done... For Now...

2006-06-22T17:07:00.000-04:00

Whew... just took the last exam of the summer today and I will say that I'm incredibly happy to be through with school for some period of time. You may remember that I did summer school last year as well, so this break is a long time coming. But it's here.

I celebrated by finishing one of the books I was reading, which is Blankets by Craig Thompson. I'm too lazy to link to it again, but if you look a post below I believe that there is a link there. Altogether a great book, story, and comic.

I've also listened to the new Regina Spektor cd a couple times through now, and while I liked her last album more, I think that the new songs are for the most part better. It's just that this cd lost the intimate production of the last. I miss that. Hurray for overproduction... or not.

I think I'm going to play a little guitar when I'm done typing this, that sounds fun. Now to find out what to play...

The U.S. got beat by Ghana... darn... and I watched and cheer and yelled at the tv and everything. Well, maybe I'll give it another shot in four years.

Currently Listening to... Regina Spektor - Apres Moi
Currently Reading... Dietrich Bonhoffer - The Cost of Discipleship

Trying to get back on the ball...?

2006-06-18T05:00:00.000-04:00

Wow, it's been a while so maybe I suck at life...

...But on the other hand school is almost done for the summer and that excites me way too much as I absolutely hate my STC class. It has completely burnt me out on writing as 2 hours of writing that you care nothing about only can. Hopefully the lack of that in the coming weeks will make updates here more prevalent.

Edlund, Katie, and Erika were up for the weekend so it was kind of nice to see them and catch up. I'm still disappointed that Chris won't be around next year but with years off therapy I may just get over my abandonment issues after all. Tonight I had my first Bridgefest experience...yep... awesome. But on a more exciting note, I also watched Big Fish and Proof tonight. Big Fish is ridiculously good, you all already know that, however, I was not ready for how good Proof was. Honestly, after it ended I just wanted to be a huge math nerd and develop something crazy. And then I got to thinking, I probably could, math was always ridiculously easy. Why don't I ever just fully apply myself? I think that that is the thing that I hate most about myself.

I need to get back on the reading train as well. So I will.

I played too much guitar today... my fingers really hurt as I'm typing this. Though, I suppose that that is not entirely a bad thing.

Two words... Monk Muffins!

Also I think that I'm going to catch a service there sometime this summer and see if I can't fanagle a tour out of them.

I hate Houghton... none of the stores up here have the new Regina Spektor cd.

Currently Reading... The Cost of Discipleship - Dietrich Bonhoffer
Blankets - Craig Thompson

P.S. It's just wrong that they have an audio cd for a graphic novel.... it makes my want to choke someone...

Currently Listening to... Lily Allen - Oh My God (Kaiser Chiefs cover)

Start of the summer...

2006-05-01T18:40:00.000-04:00

So school's done for about a week more for me and then I start up, drumroll please, summer school. (And the crowd goes wild.) But hey, if that's what it takes for me to be able to finish school after fall semester so be it. Plus, I'm taking golf this summer, so there. I still have to work out finances for the last of my schooling, so please pray that I'll get up the gumption to go find me some more student loans. Other than that I feel good about school and I had a very good semester.

Grand Rapids is okay, but I'm ready to be in sweet home Chicago, no offense Rachel. I don't get back home nearly as much as I'd want to so it's great to have the chance to go home. I can't wait to see all the friends from the area and just be home.

What is nice is that the train ride will give me time to catch up on all of the reading that I have been slacking off on lately. I didn't get a whole lot of it done during finals week and I've brought that into this week too. Hopefully I'll smother that out and get back in the groove... like Stella.

I've seen a bunch of movies lately and will tell you what I thought.
-Thank You for Smoking... Possibly the single greatest satire that I have ever had the pleasure of laying eyes on. I now want to be a lobbyist, (don't worry I don't think that it'll last too long).
-Stick it... What can I say, I was hoping it would be so bad that it would be funny... it was just bad.
-Shopgirl... I liked it alot. It was a story about love, those that are just too afraid to go after it, and those who do go after it. It was funny, touching, and altogether good. Although that's mainly the storyline that I'm talking about here, as it was a little rough with transitions and I really wasn't feeling the slowmo when it crept up. But those are minor things and this was a good movie.
-Amelie... I've been meaning to see this movie for quite some time now, I just haven't sat down and done it. I'm like that for way too many movies. Anywayss I don't know exactly where this would fall in my list of best movies of all time, (in fact I don't know what else is on it), but Amelie is definitely going to wind up on it and towards the top. I love the story, I love the way it was done, and I loved the movie. Anyone who sees this movie would fall in love with Amelie and I am no exception. Her character is so rich and full of life that it is impossible to ignore. I don't want to tell you about the movie but I do want you to see it, so for all who haven't watch it ASAP!!!

I hate typing on laptops...

Currently Reading... Dietrich Bonhoeffer - The Cost of Discipleship
Currently Listening to... Sondre Lerche and the Faces Down Quartet - Duper Sessions

so close i can taste it...

2006-04-24T14:07:00.000-04:00

So I'm really ready to be done with school completely, but I guess that I'll have to wait another 8 months or so for that to actually be the case. I've got one final tonight, which should be a cake-walk, one that is a take home that doesn't seem like it should be too bad, and one on wednesday that I'm not too sure about yet, but shouldn't be too bad. Then the semester comes to a close. I'll head to Grand Rapids with Kurt tentitively on Thursday and spend some time with Rachel, then proceed to good ole' Action Heights. Then I'll get back to GR and see Rachel graduate and get back up to school for summer classes. That's the plan at least.

I'm excited for this summer. Carey and Kurt want to play a little bit this summer and Chris was possibly talking about coming up on the weekends and playing as well, so there will be a veritable cornicoupia of music for this summer. It'll be fun.

I've really been too busy to think lately. I feel like I'm just kinda trying to stay afloat with regards to life in general right now. And it's weird because it's not like I'm frustrated, and I know that I have more than enough time for everyting, I just feel like I'm way to busy to think, if that makes any sense. Hopefully time away from Tech will help to cure that a bit.

The extra-curricular reading has hit a lull as of late, but that's mainly because of school. I hope I'll be able to jump right back into it when I'm done with the semester. I've really enjoyed all of the reading that I've done so far this year, and it has definately been filling a void that I've been having in my life for quite a while.

One of the goals for this summer is really get good at guitar. I'm okay now and I can play most easier songs I come across, but I really want to take on some harder stuff and become good at singing and playing at the same time.

Another thing that I'm going to do this summer is to get healthy. And it'll go a little something like this. First, I'm cutting pop out of the diet. I'm drinking way too many energy drinks than I should. Secondly, get out and run at least three times a week. Third, lift at least three times a week. And fourth, just altogether eat a lot better. I just want to feel healthy again.

Currently listening to... Yeah Yeah Yeah's - Live on All Songs Considered - mp3
Currently Reading... The Cost of Discipleship - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Holidays...

2006-04-13T08:12:00.000-04:00

I'm selfish when it comes to Holidays. I guess that statement only really makes sense to those of you in relationships though, doesn't it. Now while I think that when you're dating someone with intention of it hopefully leading somewhere, you should probably spend the Holidays together. However, where do you spend them... who's family matters more? Now I know that that is not the real question, but the person not seeing their family will feel that their family is taking a backseat to the other. Now here's where I'm selfish. I don't want to spend the Holidays at anywhere but my family's place, when at all possible. Family is extremely important to mek and I want to spend every Holiday that I can with them. It may suck sometimes just seeing each other before and after just might have to do sometimes.

That said, if it made any sense to any of you, Rachel and I are spending Easter in the Sault. AND I WANT TO BE THERE!!!

Jack Bauer is the last American Hero. I'm seriously starting to think that if we get any more seasons of 24, that he may become known as the greatest American Hero of all time. Kiefer Sutherland is dead to me, only Jack Bauer remains. As evidenced by the new movie, The Sentinal. I would challenge you to find one person going to see that, that will not refer to Jack Bauer's character as Jack Bauer. You want more reasons? Check the facts!

Gnarls Barkley are my heroes...

Currently Listening to... Gnarls Barkley - Crazy
Currently Reading... Dietrich Bonhoeffer - The Cost of Discipleship

Stalling....

2006-04-11T14:23:00.000-04:00

Ahh... nothing like updating the blog a bit to stall from doing all of the papers that I need to write. Really all I wanted was to share a line from the book, "The Life of Pi". I don't know why I've had this line in my head but it's been there for the last two days so I'm putting it here in hopes that it will leave... I'll set the scene for you really quick here. Pi is a child that has joined the Hindu, Christian, and Muslim religions, and at the zoo all of church leaders find him at the same time and argue over how great of a pupil of theirs he is. Realizing that Pi has been attending all these services the church leaders turn to Pi to tell him to choose what he believes...

The pandit spoke first. "Mr. Patel, Piscine's piety is admirable. In these troubled times it's good to see a boy so keen on God. We all agree on that." The imam and the priest nodded. "But he can't be a Hindu, a Christian, and a Muslim. It's impossible. He must choose."

"I don't think it's a crime, but I suppose you're right," Father replied.

The three murmured agreement and looked heavenward, as did Father, whence they felt the decision must come. Mother looked at me.

A silence fell heavily on my shoulders.

"Hmmm, Piscine?" Mother nudged me. "How do you feel about the question?"

"Bapu Gandhi said, 'All religions are true.' I just want to love God," I blurted out, and looked down, red in the face.

Now ignoring the obvious blasphemy of the 'All religions are true' statement, my heart just breaks for the kid. I would hope and pray that anyone who's answer to a question of religion that answered "I just want to love God," would find him. Anyone that strives to know God like that should find him and I know that I shouldn't be concerned about things like that because that desperate kind of love will find God, won't it?

So First Off...

2006-04-07T13:04:00.000-04:00

Those of you who do not know of Sufjan Stevens, (pronounced sOOf-yan), are likened to a child that has been beaten all their life. I'll give you your sweet relief, mainly because I feel sorry for you. Those of you who have heard of him are probably double-taking and saying Wha-What!?!?!?! Yes, Sufjan's next state is... Illinois! But wait you say didn't he just do that? Yes, and Illinois rocks too hard to be contained in one album. For those of you in the dark, Sufjan has embarked on the single-most ambitious project that I have ever heard of for any artist. He is attempting to put out an album about every single state in the union! Not only that, but he doesn't exactly scrimp on length like you see a lot of artists do, we're talking a solid 20 tracks per state album. He started this project in 2003, (according to Amazon... I thought it was a bit earlier), with Greetings From Michigan: The Great Lake State. (Note: I'm leaving out a couple of albums he did before Michigan, this is not a complete discography). Then moved on to Seven Swans in 2004, and then Come on Feel the Illinoise in 2005, while taking part in every small various artists compilations that he could in between. There is no artist that I'm more excited with today than him, and I can't even fathom finding another artist that will supersede him as my favorite artist of all time.

Side Note: If I can find an MP3 of whatever I'm listening to each day,(look below), click what it is, and an MP3 will be there for you. Otherwise I'll at least link you to Amazon to see more about whatever it is.

Currently Listening to... Sufjan Stevens - The Avalanche
Currently Reading... Dietrich Bonhoeffer - The Cost of Discipleship

So, I've got this crazy idea

2006-04-03T01:02:00.000-04:00

And it's to get myself in some form of shape. I'm sick of being out of shape, or what I consider out of shape. Here's the plan. I have people that I'll lift upper body with on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Tuesday and Thursday I'll go running, more than likely up at the SDC until it finally gets nice out. And everyday, I'll start out with some situps and pushups. It's not that I'm incredibly out of shape, but I'd like to be in better shape, as in the shape that I was in when I was playing sports regularly.

And while I'm at it I should start eating better... problem is dorm food isn't very condusive to that, and I would have no idea what to eat. I don't like any salad dressings that they have and I guess I could have salad without dressing, it just doesn't sound very appetising. What I can do is cut all of the excess sugar in my current diet, i.e. all the energy drinks and candy.

I think that the main drive behind this is to become more disciplined. I'm not very disciplined as of now and I'd really like to see that change. That's one of the most discusting traits that I think that I have. That and the laziness... but they tend to go hand in hand. If I'm spending more than 15 minutes doing nothing at my desk, I shouldn't be in my room. So, I'll try to get out when that situation arises, the only problem with that is that I can't exactly go to another room in my house so to speak.

I finished up Searching for God Knows What. I enjoyed it. I didn't agree with everything that he had to say, but I did agree with his assessment that we need to pay more attention to the poetic aspects of the bible. In other words, we need to stop condensing the bible in to a 4 step plan to getting better, or here is the main points that arise in this passage. Like poetry, much of the bible must simply be taken in and dwelt upon and felt, rather than condensed voiding it of it's meaning. The other point that really struck me from it was when he mentioned who felt the most at home around Jesus. The answer? Prosititutes, adulterors, those of ill-repute, in other words the sinners. Who didn't feel comfortable around Jesus? Hypocrites, mainly spiritual hypocrites. Okay now two more questions. Who feels comfortable around you, if in fact you are a representitive of Christ through the indwelling of the Holy Spirit inside of you? If Christ was ministering today as he was when he lived would you feel comfortable around him? I know that people who are sinners are in fact comfortable around me, does this mean that I'm following the path that Jesus blazed back in the day? I don't think so. Too many times do I still put my faith on hold to "have fun". And in that respect, I wouldn't feel comfortable around Christ were I to run across him on the street tomorrow. Would I truely be able to drop everything and follow him? Leave my planned out life behind me, leave my possessions, leave all that hinders me behind turn and follow him. I don't know. I want to say that I would, but if that were the case why can't I do it now. I know that I could if met him on the street and he asked me to. Why can't I say the same thing in regards to my life right now. I need to refocus and reprioritize myself. I think it needs to be something like this... 1. - 478. God, 479. Everything else.

So I found a new favorite song, and it's a cover of a not altogether well known song. The song is Heartbeats and the man is Mr. Jose Gonzalez. Here's a clip of him performing the song on Conan. I'll also give you the lyrics...

One night to be confused
One night to speed up truth
We had a promise made
Four hands and then away
Both under influence
We had divine scent
To know what to say
Mind is a razor blade

To call for hands from above to lean on
Would that be good enough for me?

One night of magic rush
The start: a simple touch
One night to push and scream
And then relief
Ten days of perfect tunes
The colors red and blue
We had a promise made
We were in love

To call for hands from above to lean on
Would that be good enough for me?

To call for hands from above to lean on
Would that be good enough?

And you
You knew the hand of the devil
And you
Kept us awake with wolves teeth
Sharing different heartbeats in one night

To call for hands from above to lean on
Would that be good enough for me now?

To call for hands from above to lean on
Would that be good enough?

I guess this means that I'm on a mellow song kick. I just love this song. The original is pretty good as well just nowhere near Jose doing it as far as I'm concerned. It's by a band called The Knife. Either way, I love the way sings... very subdued, almost haunting. It makes me think that he is singing about a love that cheated on him. Especially during the bridge where "you knew the hands of the devil" would refer to knowing the devil, another person, in the biblical sense of the word. Then moving to "Kept us awake with wolves teeth" referring to being kept awake because your lover has not yet returned and you're suspicious and ready to bear your teeth. And the chorus calling for help from above because you cannot handle what just happened and wondering if it will do any good to heal the wounds. But that's just my interpretation. Regardless, the song is amazing and I'm going to do my darndest to try and learn to play it.

Currently Reading... Chuck Norris - Against All Odds (Thanks, Kurt!)
Currently Listening to... Jose Gonzalez - Heartbeats

Quickie

2006-03-29T17:30:00.000-04:00

So I had my advising meeting today, and it looks like I'm stuck up here this summer. Excuse me while I slit my wrists / light myself on fire. Sigh, I was really hoping that there would be some way that I could get out for at least the summer too. I'm officially sick of Houghton. Maybe I'll wage war against it, put it on pay per view, something like that.

Currently Listening to... Miles Davis - Bitches Brew
Currently Reading... Donald Miller - Searching for God Knows What

Winding down...

2006-03-28T13:59:00.000-04:00

Well, I'm finally starting to get the feel that the semester is beginning to come to a close. This is probably due to the fact that I have no more exams til finals. I do however have a couple of papers due before then that I really should get working on. I'm never motivated to do these things until right before they're due. I don't know why this is. It's not like the motivation of the present shouldn't be enough. I mean shouldn't the motivation of not having to write these things the hours before they are due that will lead into more hectic hours of studying for exams be enough? It's funny because I can find the motivation to lament over these things, yet it's not there to do them. Such is the life of a college student.

As for summer plans, I don't know yet. It all kind of depends on what happens tomorrow. I'm skipping out on my radio show, (a week off will be nice), to go and meet with my advisor because I don't know what classes I can take. There is currently one class being offered this coming semester that will aid my graduation plans. I need 15 more credits and only 3 of those 15 are offered. That ain't right. So, I'm going to find out if there is anyway I can do some of them in an independant study type of format, correspondance course, summer course somewhere else, etc... I'm so close to graduating and really there is not one thing that I would want more than to get out of Houghton for life. It's nice and all, but I'm really just sick to my stomach of it. What I do know, (and my current employer does not), is that the only way I'm staying up here this summer is if I have to squeeze some of these 15 credits in up here this summer. Right now any and all plans are on the table and I'm seriously considering all of them, (even if they're semi-anonymous suggestions). More to come on this post-Wednesday.

So my favorite song of the moment is Regina Specktor's Samson; here are the lyrics...

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth
I have to go, I have to go
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
He ate a slice of wonder bread and went right back to bed
And history books forgot about us and the bible didn't mention us
And the bible didn't mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the stars came fallin' on our heads
But they're just old light, they're just old light
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson came to my bed
Told me that my hair was red
Told me I was beautiful and came into my bed
Oh I cut his hair myself one night
A pair of dull scissors in the yellow light
And he told me that I'd done alright
and kissed me 'til the mornin' light, the mornin' light
and he kissed me 'til the mornin' light

Samson went back to bed
not much hair left on his head
Ate a slice of wonderbread and went right back to bed
Oh, we couldn't bring the columns down
Yeah we couldn't destroy a single one
And history books forgot about us
And the bible didn't mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first

The way that she sings just sounds stripped or naked, very vulnerable and yet one of the most confident singers I have come across. She just puts her self out there with no regard to what anyone else thinks, maybe that's why I like her so much. That and can she ever sing. Which reminds me, we have homepage space from MTU, right? Do any of you know how to use it? If so let me know and I'll put up the song so yous can all hear it.

We're at 50 degrees again here, I love it! Spring has sprung and it's entirely too refreshing. And if winter rears it's ugly head again I swear I'll find a knife and stab the snow. It's just great to be outside. I just want to see grass finally, and it's starting to peak though in spots. I want to lay out on it and just soak in the weather. Maybe with a book, maybe not... I haven't decided yet. I want to run around on it barefoot. I just want to soak it in.

March Madness may not be over yet, but I definately pulled in a cool $25 as I already won my pool. I'm also 30th at Tech out of like 840 people who filled out a facebook bracket. So that's pretty cool.

I finished White Teeth by Zadie Smith and would recomend it to all of you. It's a character development book about three families and their interactions. It's hard to go into detail about what it's about save for the fact that it starts out with one person and branches out from there. Maybe I'll just let amazon do it for me.

I'll try to update tomorrow or Thursday to let you know what happened with the class stuff.

Currently Listening to... Regina Spektor - Samson
Currently Reading... Donald Miller - Searching For God Knows What

Update!

2006-03-20T15:41:00.000-04:00

Another week, another update.

I'm getting better at playing the guitar! I've felt like I was stagnant for quite a while now, but I'm starting to play some harder material and not completely butcher it. Well, it's harder for me at least. The song that I've been working on later is Shiny by The Decemberists. The chorus was killing me for the longest time, but I'm starting to get a handle on it. Yay!

The book project was kind of slowing a little this week, but that was to be expected as March Madness has begun. I'm relatively happy about my picks and devastated that Illinois went down already, as I had them winning it all... and they're Illinois. Other than that I'm doing well riding high on my Bradley and Witchita St. sweet 16 picks. In the facebook pool, I'm even sitting in 12th out of 841 people!

I went and saw V for Vendetta this past weekend. Uhhhhhhh... yeah. It was a movie that made me wish that I didn't read the book first, because then I probably would have appreciated it more. No FATE computer, no Evey slipping into prostitution and an even worse job by butchering the main point of the book. Where the book contrasted Fasicim and Anarchy. The movie turned it more into ruling through fear and Democracy. Sigh. Still it was fairly well done and fun to see.

Okay people stop it with the engagements already! What is up with this? I'm apparently way too old now. Thanks a lot birthday buddy, now you had to go and get yourself engaged. Now my only chance with you is through an illicit affair. But really, congrats Katrina. Soon I'm going to be the only one left... and I'm surprisingly fine with that, sorry Rachel.

School continues to go well this semester as I did well in my exam last week and I think that I did well on my exam today. One more to do well on tomorrow. It's kind of crazy but I do believe that as of this moment I'm averaging a 4.0. I think that might be a good bounce-back GPA don't you?

I still have no idea what I want to do this summer. The only option I really have on my plate right now is staying up here and cooking the summer. I really enjoyed last summer, but I'm not sure that I want to do that again. But, I don't know that I really have any other option. If anyone thinks of one let me know!

There are a few movies out right now, dvd that is, that I really would like to see. Good Night and Good Luck, Syriana, Copote, Everything is Illuminated, Lord of War, and Broken Flowers. I'm sure that there are more, but that's all that I could think of right now.

Currently Listening to... James Mercer (of The Shins)- Live 1-7-04
Currently Reading... Zadie Smith - White Teeth

Finally...

2006-03-13T18:32:00.000-04:00

...back to write up a really crappy post that will in no way summarize what has happened in the last two weeks! (But, it will try.)

So, break... I spent it in Grand Rapids, saw Rachel, had some fun. Finished Freakonomics, started White Teeth. Borrowed more books from Rachel. Lent books to Rachel. Slept a ton. I think that pretty much summarizes break. Oh except for the fact that the weather was great.

And now it sucks. I haven't ventured out of the dorm yet to face the blizzard we're going through and with my night class cancelled it doesn't look like I'll have to. I want to get working on some of the papers I have for classes but I don't have the ambition yet to do it. Bad weather does that to me. Due to a misunderstanding at work I don't have any this week. Hurray, another week off! Although by next week I'm sure that I won't mind it too much.

I'm going to learn how to play the Brokeback Mountain theme on guitar simply because I like the song and can think of nothing funnier than playing it at random times.

My phone forgot how to ring, so if you call me leave a message. And hopefully I'll see that you called soon enough to call you back.

I got the new Page France double EP in! I haven't listened to it all yet, but it's quite the departure from their last CD. Very poppy, but then again they always have been. I'll come up with an apt description later. Just put in the Sister Pinecone half of it.

I was able to watch some baseball today from the WBC and I'll say that I want to watch some more and am aching for the season to start!

Maybe I'll clean the room a little tonight. It looks like crap.

That's all for now, maybe I'll try and update more than once a week...

Currently Listening to... Page France - Pear & Sister Pinecone
Currently Reading... White Teeth - Zadie Smith

One week...

2006-02-27T12:35:00.000-04:00

That's all that's left till I bust out of this joint for Grand Rapids, the problem is that I don't have a ride. I should get on that.

The broomball update is that we won the All-Wads title, but lost to the eventual champs in the semis.

QC is crazy good right now. I'll say no more, just go read it all. Questionable Content

I've recieved three of the five cds that I ordered last week, and already Page France is one of my favorite bands. I think I'll do a longer post on them sometime soon so I won't go to in depth now, but suffice to say that they are incredible. Page France's Myspace Plus I've got a couple EP's of theirs that should be in this week.

My paper and Exam last week went well, I got a 92 on the exam and a perfect score on my paper. I think that it's safe to say that I'm back on the @#$%*ing ball!!!

I finished On the Road last week. As I said before, it did inspire me to seek out music from that time. But as for the book itself, I'd say I was disappointed. I don't know. It was well written. I enjoyed reading it. It guess it just didn't live up to the hype.

Steve's in town and I haven't had a whole lot of a chance to hang out with him yet. The last couple of nights I've just been too bushed to really get out there. Yeah, I know, me? too bushed? I'm not proud of it but it happened. I'll probably get to hang out a little bit tonight or tomorrow night, so that will be nice.

So, I started reading A.W. Tozer's God Tells the Man Who Cares. I'm enjoying it so far as it has been a little while since I read a straight up Christian book. More on this to come.

Well, that's all I've got for today.

Currently Reading... A.W. Tozer's God Tells the Man Who Cares
Currently Listening to... Page France - Come, I'm a Lion!

Broomball and other musings...

2006-02-22T13:17:00.000-04:00

Well, we won Wads Gold League and will play for the hall championship tonight round abouts of 7:15. The thing is I'm scheduled for work tonight, so I have to find someone to cover that hour for me because I do NOT want to miss this game. It's been a lot of fun this year and we're going to be play against possibly the best team at tech tonight, so we'll see what we can do.

I like the word bereft.

I have another patent and just got all of the paperwork faxed in about 15 minutes ago. Is it a bad thing when you really aren't sure how many you have now and you're still in school? I don't think so, but it's only 4 or 5.

I need to see the latest hour of 24, I'm behind. Come on Tim get it and we'll watch Jack Bauer pound on some terrorists! And for the record, who wouldn't have voted for Dennis Haysbert in the latest elections if he had ran under his character's name of David Palmer.

I ordered 5 (yay) new cd's last Friday I believe, but they aren't here yet and I'm getting antsy. They better come in today...

I think the streak of A's should continue as I think that I did well on my latest paper and the second half of my microeconomics exam. Well, I'm sure that I'll see for sure by next Friday.

I'm almost done with Jack Kerouac's On the Road. It's been good and I've enjoyed it very much. It made me really want to get into some of the jazz music from that time, you know the good stuff like Miles Davis. They were so wild and soulful with their music. That's one of the next goals.

Speaking of books, I've got a few lined up in my possession and many more that I want to read, but I think that the next one is going to be one that I bought on my only trip to Canada with Mr. TenEyck, (may he remain forever single), A.W. Tozer's God Tells the Man Who Cares.

Team USA is playing hockey against Finland right now. It's tied 2-2.

I'm really liking the Sigur Ros right now and I'm really upset that I don't live anywhere near civilization where I can actually see them, as they are touring the U.S. right now. I hear they are simply beyond incredible live. They play with such emotion and even their studio albums are something beyond words.

Finland just took the lead 3-2.

Well my busy day is going on and I'll stop moving again come 11:30 PM. Laundry Time!

Currently Reading... On the Road - Jack Kerouac
Currently Listening to... Explosions in the Sky - Those Who Tell the Truth Shall Die, Those Who Tell the Truth Shall Live Forever (Album)

Keep on truckin'

2006-02-13T01:14:00.001-04:00

I'm dying. No more late night hot tub for me. I'm pretty sure that it is getting me sick. I've got a dry/sore throat, and some messed up sinuses. So while it is good for the back, it's severely depleting my health. Maybe I'll trade it in for a sauna in the dorms every once in a while.

Carnival was fun. It was nice to see Steve and Rachel again. Even though it was for but a little over a day. The statues looked really phenominal and what they can do with ice just keeps getting better and better each year. I took pretty much this entire Carnival off from all of the various events going on and that was nice. I think that I would probably have died if I hadn't. But overall, Carnie was pleasant.

I'm really starting to build some good friendships up this year. In particular with Tim, Chris, and Kurt. It's really nice to be building up these friendships as I was wondering what I would do with myself this year now that practically everyone I was good friends with is gone.

The book plan is going well. So far I've gone through the entire Chronicles of Narnia and Black Hole, (a graphic novel). I've been getting a lot of recomendations from a lot of people so I have to start up a list so I don't forget them. I think I already have another 3 books in my possession that are currently in que. I'm really excited about getting back into the swing of reading.

Unfortunately, this Carnival was not as productive on the homework end of things. I thought that I might be able to get some of it done at work tonight, as Sunday nights are usually fairly slow. But, of course, we ended up being busy tonight and that plan didn't go as well as I would have hoped. Though I did start on my take home exam and it seems to be fairly easy, so on that front I am pleased. In addition to finishing that up, I have to write an outline for a paper that I'm doing on the economic and environmental impact of coal usage in China today. I think that it's going to be pretty fun to research and weigh the pros and cons of using coal to stimulate their growth and that it will be a challenging and rewarding paper. I also have a quick homework assignment to finish up for that class. And... I have a paper that I believe is due on wednesday for industrial economics. So, in other words, I have my work cut out for me. Especially tonight.

Well I guess that's enough for one night. Wish me luck on the homework tonight!

Currently listening to... Eisley - Room Noises
Currently Reading... Jack Kerouac - On the Road

Another week, another update

2006-02-07T11:32:00.000-04:00

Ahh life. Where to start... So, I sent out an email to go see Brokeback Mountain to the Crusade list last night. In all actuallity I sent it to the list because I thought that there may in fact be someone who would like to see the movie and since we were going... you get the picture. Secondly, I guess I like to rile people up. Like Tim, for instance. I told everyone to email him to go and see it. Mainly I just wanted to flood his inbox. Anyways, I thought that since I didn't want people to take it too seriously that I would put the trailer for Brokeback to the Future at the end. Now that's a movie I'd go and see.

Jonny is now engaged to Jacki. I hope they have mutant babies that not even a mother could love.

Two exams are in the books and I did well on both. I got a 95 on my Environmental and Natural Resource Economics exam and a 96 on my Industrial Organization Economics class. Woo Hoo! That's a big load off of my chest as I have to do well this semester.

I'm still crusing on my book kick and just about done with the Last Battle. Sometime soon I'll do a recap of what I have read so far this year. What should I read next? I'm thinking of reading On the Road by Kerowac (sp?) but I'm not too sure.

Currently Listening to... Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins - Rabbit Furcoat
Currently Reading... The Last Battle by C.S. Lewis

Comics

2006-01-30T16:07:00.000-04:00

So I've been on this reading kick of trying to average reading a book a week for this entire year but I don't know how I'm going to count comics in here. I think that some, like Black Hole , should count for sure. Others like the Fables series I'm not too sure about. And still others like Questionable Content are even more ambiguous. Any suggestions?

Rachel just sent me a few lists of top moderns books, top movies, and the like and I really want to go through the entire lists. Even the books that I have read and the movies I have seen before. There are so many books that I've read that I don't remember well and the like with movies. I'd just like to go through them.

Back to comics for a minute, or more specifically questionable content. This comic has really struck a cord with me and I definitely went through they're entire archives in a couple of days. It's way too funny for it's own good, as well as way to real for it's own good. I just see myself in it so many times. I like it. It's full of all kinds of indie references but don't let that deter you as it's still beyond hilarious if you know nothing about the indie music scene, so says my musically inept girl. (Strictly in a knowledge of different bands and whatnot sense that is.) Either way look and laugh and get addicted to it.

I've been listening to an absolute ton of Colin Meloy / Decemberists recently and I just cannot seem to get enough. I'm really falling in love with the poppy folkish kind of sound right now. It just sounds so true and bare and revealing and lovely.

Here's a question for you. Why was I so gifted in the sciences yet have this incomparable love for the arts? Not to say that I don't love the sciences either but, at least at this point in my life, the arts rule my heart. I guess that's weird coming from someone who goes to an engineering school but that's where I'm at. I would much rather listen to music and study it than do physics. I would much rather read a novel and look at it critically than figure out the percentage of pearlite in a microstructure. And on and on... Not to say that I'm upset with my current career choice, because I'm not. My passions just lie outside of that now. I don't know.

I can say one thing though... I love life.

Currently Listening to... Calexico | Iron and Wine - Live on NPR

Currently Reading... The Magician's Nephew

Someone's got a case of the Mondays....

2006-01-23T15:37:00.000-04:00

Luckily it's not me.

So, I had to work again this last Sunday night, but it wasn't horrible. That might be because I did absolutely nothing. I sat around, watched football, and had a few beers. Talk about a hard night's work, right? Either way Jen and Adam showed up at the bar so I ended up staying once I was done and catching up a little bit with them. I hadn't seen Jen since sometime this summer so it was real nice to catch up with her and see how her life, post graduation, is going. As for Adam, the last time that I saw him was at a senior barrel last semester where we complained about materials science and how we need to just get out of it and we ended up playing the fun game called stuff as many things into the freezer as possible at someone's house we didn't know too well. Well as you know I switched it up into econ, and as I found out, Adam added Business Administration to his repertoire. Ah, the plight of those who rock at math and science and don't want to be engineers.

Anyways we got on to the topic of books because Adam was loaning The Kite Runner to Jen and I've read it, and would recommend it. So, he mentioned that he was reading A Million Little Pieces and that he is only halfway through it but is really enjoying it. So, I'm going to borrow it from him once he has finished it. I looked it up on Amazon and it looks like it has some very polarizing opinions so, I'm looking forward to it.

I was finally able to play in my first broomball game yesterday as well, and we lit up FYE 10 to 2. I had a goal, three or four assists and about a plus 7, so altogether you could say that I was kind of a big deal.

On Saturday I saw The Weather Man. It's a movie with Nicholas Cage and Michael Caine about their relationship as father and son, and Cage's role as an estranged father. It was a really good movie and I'll say that Michael Caine's character should be up for top movie father ever. It was a dramedy that really just worked... I don't really know how to put it other than that I was laughing hard at the same time as I really felt for the characters and what they were going through. Altogether a good movie.

I really need to do this more often so that I (a) don't' forget things and (b) don't just ramble on like this...

Currently Listening to... a bunch of random unreleased Page France songs.
Currently Reading... The Silver Chair by C. S. Lewis

Flyin' through books

2006-01-18T16:21:00.000-04:00

So my last post said that I just finished Prince Caspian... and now I just finished The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. I absolutely loved the end of it. I won't give it away for anyone who has yet to read it, but I will suggest that you do. I'm really pleased that I'm doing alot of reading this semester. I'd like to keep up with it.

School just feels weird right now. I'm worried that I'm not doing enough in my classes because I really haven't had much homework yet. It's like a feeling that once assignments and whatnot do come that it's going to hit me like a load of bricks. I figure that if I catch up on my reading fully, (I know who reads their textbooks right?), that I might feel a little bit better about where I'm at. Because in all actuallity I'm not really behind in anything. Oh well. I just turned in my first assignment of the year and I have a quiz tomorrow so maybe I'll feel like I've done something once I've done that.

Work is annoying. They keep on scheduling me for days that I have tried to tell them that I can't work. For example, I'm scheduled tonight and tonight is praise band practice. I talked to Tom and he's not going to be scheduling me on Wednesdays anymore, but it does look like I'm going to get shafted with Sunday nights. Oh well, it's just more annoying than anything.

I'll be starting up a radio show on Wednesdays beginning next week from 2:00 to 5:00 PM. I'm pretty excited about this, as it will be my best time slot yet and it'll be my first weekly three hour show.

That's my life...

Currently listening to... Pixel Revolt by John Vanderslice
Currently reading... The Silver Chair by C. S. Lewis

Hurray for the Lazy Day...

2006-01-12T14:50:00.000-04:00

So I think that I'm going to really enjoy Tuesdays and Thursdays. I wake up around 9 and then get to be lazy until 3:30, my first class. Like today, I woke up and lounged around and finished Prince Caspian, which I had only read part of before and really enjoyed. I've listened to some music that I've had for a while and just hadn't gotten around to listening to yet, Cat Power's The Greatest and Rufus Wainwright's self-titled album. It's been nice.

It's the first TNT for the new year tonight and though I didn't practice with the band yesterday, stupid work, I'm extremely excited to sing tonight. I don't know who is talking, what they are talking about, or any of the other details, but I'm really looking forward to it. As for my walk, well I've been distant from God since I've come back to Tech. It really has a lot to do with me just not putting in any effort in that area which is, well, sad. I need to start back on doing daily devotionals slash bible readings to get myself back into the swing of things. I also need to be praying more. Why can we find it so easy to ignore the one thing that means the most to us?

Classes are going well, and I truly feel that I'm going to do really well this semester. I'm excited about school and am staying on top of my studies which is beyond awesome.

I still haven't gotten back on the exercising kick yet, but that is not due to a lack of desire so much as a lack of shoes fit for exercising in. Hopefully I'll be able to find some this weekend and get up on it.

The beard grows long and still gets to go unkempt for another month, so it's pretty excited.

Currently Listening to... We are Scientists - With Love and Squalor
Currently Reading... The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

Confused?

2006-01-10T21:49:00.000-04:00

It's Tuesday night and I'm not working... I don't know what to do with myself. I went over to the Keweenaw Coop with Jake and picked up a Pinot and and pretty good beer . Talked with Steve for a little bit. Started up on Prince Caspian. Was bored. Oh well, the night is young and so am I. I'll figure out something.

Currently Listening to... Plus Minus - You Are Here
Currently Reading... C.S. Lewis - Prince Caspian

First Day of School

2006-01-09T10:51:00.000-04:00

I feel like I need a killer backpack that has the Cubs on it or something cool like that with a matching lunchbox to boot. Well, I am excited and this will be my first semester as an economics major. I have high hopes and expectations for this coming semester, nothing but good vibes. Waking up early, (i.e. before the alarm), this morning was a great way to start things and hopefully it'll be all good from here. This is my most busy day of the week, so I'll have the proverbial, "It's all downhill from here" after the day is out. I have a night class from 7 to 9:30 so we'll see how that goes, but I don't mind it too much so that's good. My room is probably cleaner than it has been all year, with plans to make it cleaner. The word of the day is apprehension.

Currently reading... TLTWTW
Currently listening to... Camera Obscura's Underachievers Please Try Harder
(And yes I get the irony of listening to this on the first day of classes.)

So I was reading Scoops new column...

2006-01-06T18:06:00.000-04:00

... and I come across this...

KG and Oprah
How do you make Mother Moses cry? In a year when ball players were getting press for "str8 stupidness" it seemed strange that Kevin Garnett's written appearance on the Oprah Winfrey Show went notice-free.

He wrote her a letter. They gave her the letter on-air as a surprise. In the letter, he said he wanted to donate something to her Angel Network, which was building houses for those who lost their homes in Hurricane Katrina. His pledge: To build one house per month for the next two years. That's 24 homes! Two seasons of "Extreme Makeover." Financially funded by one person Â with no commercial return on his donation. A gesture that should have landed him on the cover of Time alongside Bill and Melinda Gates and Bono as Persons of The Year. A gesture that made Oprah -- read it again, Oprah -- break down.

But still, no member of the media wrote a story about it. USA Today scripted a blurb; ESPN.com made a mention. But overall -- nada.

Now, let Kevin Garnett or any other athlete run a stop light; let them miss a practice unexcused; let them miss a child support payment -- Bam! Lead story on "SportsCenter," forum discussion on "Rome Is Burning," breaking news on CNN.

In an era when it is too often publicly asked: "Where are our kids' role models?"; in a society that is starved for areas of positiveness to come from our professional athletes; in a world where we have been conditioned to believe that every one of these young superstars is unappreciative, ungrateful, undeserving and a void soul, a situation arose that could have shifted the entire perception of their existence. What Kevin Garnett did was just that big.

But guess who dropped the ball? Us. The media, for not saying anything about it, and the public, for not demanding that we do.

The moral of this story: How do you make the media not pay attention to you when you are a superstar athlete? Do something humane.

I've just this year begun reading Scoop's columns and I'm thankful that I have. He covers the topic of racism in the sports world in a way that makes itnoticeablee. Did you hear about the KG thing? If you did I bet it was brief. This is incredible and it renews my faith that sports superstars can be role models and should be. This act of charity is simply stunning and I don't want it to go unannounced. Thanks Kevin.

YAY!!!

2006-01-04T16:29:00.000-04:00

Quick news. My parents will co-sign on a loan for me, and I'll be able to afford next semester's tuition now! I'm maybe a little happy.

Listening to... Pixel Revolt by John Vanderslice

Reading... Narnia's TLTWTW

Sigh

2006-01-04T01:12:00.000-04:00

Well I'm back from Rachel's, (I went to her place last Wednesday and left today), and it sucks. Don't get me wrong I love being back with my friends and all, but I miss her like crazy. That and she won't get off the phone so that I can call her, what a jerk!

Anyways, we had our Christmas and it was great. We exchanged gifts and she liked what I got her, so there's a plus. I just have to figure out how to shop for clothing for her and I'll be set. Speaking of clothing, guess what I got from her. Wait for it... wait for it... CLOTHING! I kinda needed some new clothes so that was great. She also got me the boxed set color illustrated Chronicles of Narnia, which will be a blast to read. That and I'll finally finish the entire thing.

New year's Eve at Rachel's was also fun and I got to see Jon and Jake, partake of some New Year's spirits, and kiss my love at midnight. So take that. I'm really excited about this year and I have a few resolutions that I want to adhere to. I want to get back into regularly excercising. I want to make sure that I see Rachel at least once a month. I want to read more. And there were a couple more that I can't remember right now so that doesn't bode as well.

Movie-wise I saw a couple with Rachel over my mini-vacation. We went and saw Munich and King Kong and they were both incredible movies. Munich was especially good and had a social commentary that is very worth hearing. My favorite part of it was the bomb dismantler that can't go on with the assassinations and gives a speach about how Jews are supposed to be righteous and not sink to the level of their enemies. It was phenominal. And King Kong was one of those movies that I didn't know if they should remake but I'm glad that they did and I'm happier that I got to see it on the big screen.

Well I'm off to see if PSU or FSU can finally put the other away...

Listening to... K-Fed's new single, (it's the single most atrocious thing that I think I've ever heard

Reading... Orthodoxy and The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe

The Chronic-WHAT-ils of Narnia!

2005-12-22T02:09:00.000-04:00

I don't know how long that SNL will have that clip up for but watch it while you can because it's the funniest thing that they've done in ages. In other news, I'm home. I'll be here for Christmas and then til like the 28 or 29th. It's wierd not having work or school or anything to really do... but on the plus side I could use the time as I am still way behind on my Christmas shopping. So, yeah. I'm currently trying to come up with a top 10 albums of the year... but I have a feeling that it might be harder than it seems. I always suck at making lists, because of how fickle I am. Oh, well. I'll put together something and then let you know. One list I'll give you now is the top 5 websites that I couldn't get away from.

5. Pitchfork I know it has personally helped to more clearly define the word pretentious, but they still turn me on to things that I would not have heard otherwise.

4. ESPN the Website I loves me the sports, ESPN loves them the sports... a match made in heaven.

3. Redlightglow Ahhh.... downloading at it's... well not finest but I find most of what I need here.

2. Stereogum Weather it's the updates on the new K-Fed album or the simple fact that CYHSY turned them down, it's finger is directly on the pulse of indie/pop culture and for that I thank you.

1. You Ain't No Picasso Matt knows what he's doing and his blog has blossomed in this past year, scoring interviews with Sufjan, bestowing upon us the 12 days of Mixmas, giving us "Now that's what I call indie covers vol. 1 and 2", and unabashedly loving Bishop Allen and We Are Scientists. I found so much new music through his site. Thank you.

So there's a list for you... kinda boring I know, but what can I say. I'm bored.

Currently Listening to...

Currently Reading...

What to do?

2005-11-15T15:19:00.000-04:00

So, here's the dillema. I know I don't want to do engineering. But what to do in it's place? Here are the options: Marketing or Economics. I'm 33 credits away from Marketing and 24 away from Economics. I know it's crazy that I'm that close to both but I'm also nuts for switching this late so let's ignore that part. An Economics degree is more respected in the academics field where Marketing is well... Marketing. Now my Business advisor says that with the Economics degree I will probably be able to compete with Marketing majors for the job that I want. And frankly I know how to sell myself. But, on the other hand, Marketing is closer to the job that I want when I'm done... or at least the job I think I want. Sigh, I wish I knew what I wanted.

So Much is New!!!

2005-11-10T14:23:00.000-04:00

So... I lied in bed unable to sleep racking my brain over and over about my future no matter how hard I tried not to. This resulted in my not getting to sleep until approximately 7:00 am. I do not suggest this to anyone. But I wake up to all kinds of good news. First that I have another patent coming through and probably one more after that. And also that my friend Kristin is coming up today! It was just an impulse visit and she is coming up with her friend Janelle that I have yet to meet, but I will apparently like, (dang I've said apparently a lot lately). Not to mention that I have every night this weekend off. Talk about good timing. Well, that's what I've got. Just thought that I'd share.

Currently Listening... Nickel Creek - Toxic (Britney Spears cover)
Currently Reading... Orthodoxy by G.K. Chesterton

Life is Like This Blog

2005-11-09T20:09:00.000-04:00

And the reason that I say that is that I haven't been on top of things like I'd like to be for the last month...(checks updates...yeah about a month). But that's the past and this is now. So instead of bemoaning my situation I'll regal you with my latest failure.

So hopping in the wayback machine we bring ourselves to last Saturday. I may or may not have had entirely too much to drink. Or I may have... Either way, Tim's girlfriend was up so I went out with them, Jake, and a few others, eventually meeting up with Steve, Andy, and Amy along the way. Started out at the KBC and hung out there for about an hour (2). Hopped down to the Lights but it was crowded so we figured we'd mosey along (0). Made it to the dog where I saw Eric who was in town that weekend, (we did blue key together). Had a few there (4) and then headed to the DT. Where it went downhill in a hurry with shots and drinks abounding (?). Anyways the moral of the story as always is, I'm an idiot. Only a little more so this time, as I blacked out for the first time. I have a few sporadic memories here and there like talking to Rachel, no idea about what and falling out of my bed at night. And the night did eventually end.

Then I wake up the next morning, sore knee from falling out of the bed and landing on a can of chill and all. I hop on down and see a non-eaten bowl of beefaroni that I don't remember making and an angry message from Rachel on my answering machine. Oh crap. I call her back and find out that I really don't remember what happened post DT last night. I apparently answered a call from her and was really excited to talk to her and told her I'd call her back so she doesn't waste phone card minutes. I apparently forgot to do so. I apparently forgot she even called. Apparently when she called back I was still excited to talk to her but too incoherent to remember that I already did and that I could not really form a cognizant sentence to her. I apparently was slurring my words and told her "I'm gonna make some sghetti....". Sure enough I made me some "sghetti" and didn't eat it. I don't know if I talk to any one on the way to the kitchenette or how I made that "sghetti" but it was there in the morning so I must have. Argh.....

I guess it's kinda nice in that it was a wake up call, but still I'd rather not fall on my face to wake up. Sigh. Well I'm back up so you can expect more frequent updates.

Currently listening to..... nothing my stereo done broke!
Currently reading... G.K. Chesterton's Orthodoxy

I Love Friends

2005-10-10T06:48:00.000-04:00

So... here's the scoop. Katie Hammar is in town from this past weekend til this coming Tuesday sometime. But, I just found out today. Grumble. But, I was over at HTC and guess who stops by.... If you guessed Ms. Hammar give yourself one pat on the back... no more than one, cause it was easy. Anyways, we end up having just a great long conversation about life and it was sooo refreshing. So thank you Katie, you brightened my day and life.

In other news Jonnie is coming up this tomorrow... or I guess today either way I'm pumped. I'm loving my friends so much right now. Lots of reminising tonight. I also want to make a "power trip" through the lower peninsula and maybe into Ohio to see people this Thanksgiving break. We'll see if it works out.

I love life.

Currently Listening to... Bad Reputation by Death Cab for Cutie
Currently Reading... Orthodoxy by G.K. Chesterton

For once I don't even know what to say...

2005-10-07T14:26:00.000-04:00

Just click here to see why.

Retreat!

2005-10-03T21:09:00.000-04:00

Well. This last weekend was pretty intense for me. It was retreat weekend for CCC. It wasn't intense because the speaker was incredible, that being the main reason that it usually is for me. The speaker basically talked about what I have be harping on and trying to do myself since this semester began. Live an authentic life. Need more clarification? Fine then. Living a transparent life. Living a life with nothing to hide. Finding your identity in Christ and living it. I've actively been trying to live this way more and more starting this last summer and maybe a little bit into last spring semester. So most of what he said resonated with me, but it was old news.

That's all great Dan, but why was your weekend so intense then? Well, I'll take them one at a time.

Praise
It's funny that this is one of the reasons, because I really wasn't able to praise well with NMU's band up there. Sorry guys. But I was able to praise well the last half of out first set and on Sunday's set. I had a semi-solo with Alex on guitar and Bill on violin singing Your Love is Extravagant. I was in it there. Don't get it? Watch the movie and thank me later. But the praise highlight of the weekend was after our Friday night praise band practice where me and Alex stuck around and just kept playing and praising God. It was moving... so we went and grabbed people from the rooms at like one o'clock and had a spontaneous group praise. It was wonderful.

Rest
This is particularly funny as I got maximum 4 hours of sleep each night. But we prayed for rest and God definately granted it as I was wide awake and functional when I was awake. So that rocked. Also, me and some of the guys slept outside each night and it was just great bonding time with some people I didn't know too well and others that I did. Good times.

Workshops
Or workshop... I went to Ryan Stanski's first and it was again, things I've already heard before. But then came the highlight of my year. Dan Konstanski talked about freedom from sin. He used Romans alot in his talk, which for anyone who knows me is beyond great. He talked about different agreements that we may have made and that by buying into these agreements that are not necessarily a sin we accept a clause with them that is. And the clause is what we focus on. We focus on mopping the floor and not fixing the hole in the ceiling. And that hole in the ceiling can only be fixed by God, and asking for his mercy. And it hit me like a load of bricks... to the face. I had been feeling so guilty about my inability to stop this sin in my life, (see here) , and just dying inside. And this is what I needed to hear.

What can I say other than that life is good and I love it. Oh, and if that wasn't enough it was my two year anniversary on Sunday. So... yay!

Currently listening... Neutral Milk Hotel live in Auckland, New Zealand
Currently reading... Orthodoxy by G.K. Chesterton

So I was at work today...

2005-09-25T17:05:00.000-04:00

...and I was deciding what music to play during my shift. And as anyone who knows me knows that music has a special little niche in my life, this was not exactly the easiest decision for me to make. Either way that's not the point. Here's the point... I through in Mike Doughty's album Houghty Melodic. (/Aside) Those of you who remember a small band from the nineties named Soul Coughing will recognize him as he is the lead singer of that tremendous band. Soul Coughing was incredibly quirky and innovative and I loved them for it. Interested parties will want to grab thier album Ruby Vroom. So good (/Aside). Anyways I put his newest cd on and it was just like listening to it for the first time. It opens with one of the catchiest songs I've heard in quite a while and I actually think that it got some radio play.... AAAAHHHHH! The song in question being Looking at the World From the Bottom of a Well. But what really stuck out was how great of a lyricist Mr. Doughty is. He is extremely poetic and I think that Ben Folds put it best when he said, "There's just as much rock and roll in his poetry as there is poetry in his rock and roll".

Anyways I think that I'll share some of the lyrics that really jumped out at me...

"Slain by the words I lack
My world is bursting sappy music and
With the face so sad I long to make you mine"

"My circus train pulls through the night
Full of lions and trapeze artists
I'm done with elephants and clowns
I want to
Run away and join the office"

"Sunken-eyed girl in the sandwich shop
Ladle my soup from the kettle pot, so
Swoony my self with the smolder looks
Parsing that gaze for the right intention"

"I'm fucking starved for love
I deeply need to feel connection with the infinite
I want the nourishment
I need to drink it just like water, and it will sustain me"

Take that last one as a segue. The song that that is from is called His Truth is Marching On. If you want a take on his faith lookie here . Either way it makes my day when a person, such as Mike here, can write such a beautiful song about God and searching him. And yet it depresses me that I tend not to find songs like this in artists that are outspoken in their Christian faith. I guess that's why I'm so cynical of "mainstream Christianity". From what I see they throw the Christian label on it because they know if they do them Christians will buy it up. If you've ever seen the South Park episode on Christian Music then you'll know what I mean when I say that I couldn't have said it better myself. But then again I can't be too cynical as we do have Sufjan .

So to sum it up... go listen to some Mike Doughty... I think that you can here a few songs on his blog if you search around. I linked to it earlier if you didn't catch that.

Currently listening to... The Sunset Tree (album) by The Mountain Goats
Currently reading... Orthodoxy by G. K. Chesterton

School Etc.

2005-09-19T12:21:00.000-04:00

So, week 2 and half of week 3, I ended up slacking more than I really cared to in one of my classes, so this week is the official "GET ON THE FREAKIN' BALL, MAN!" part of my life for this class. I'd like to say that how busy I was got in the way, and I'm sure it did once or twice... but that would probably be out of say.... 500. Anyways, I have the time during the day, (between my classes and such), to get on it. So that's what this week is going to be all about for me.... maximization of the time that I have. I'll let you know if it works or not.

In other news I gave a talk at crusade last Thursday. And I think that it went really really well. My talk was on relationships that we have with non-beleivers. I heard that I was really passionate about it while speaking which is something that I really wanted to convey. Too much of crusades membership is on the hang out with Christians all the time and do evangelism in an outreach or whatnot. I wanted to shift their focus. I think that I did. The way that we live our lives will show non-beleivers what our life, and for that matter, life in general is all about. I just wanted to let people know that we should be spending our time with those who need a physician and not as much with the healthy. Not to say that our relationships with other Christians are not valuable, but in a way since you have the common ground of God less time should be needed to connect on a deeper level and that would be the most time consuming part of any new friendship. Either way I really have a heart for those who do not know Christ and simply want to share love with them. The kind of love that God showed me.

Which brings me to another topic... sort of. The bible says that there is no greater love that to lay down your life for a friend (paraphrase), and since Jesus layed down his life for all even the sinners and those who hated him what does that say about God's love for us. I don't know why, but I've always thought that this would be an easy thing to do. Maybe, because I have hope in salvation. But if I have no problem with laying down my life that one may live, why do I have such a problem with sharing the good news that one may live? Why is faith so hard to talk about? Why? I would like to think that I am not ashamed in what I believe but my actions speak volumes about my faith, for faith without works is dead. Anyways, what I'm getting at is that it has been so much easier this year for me to bring up spiritual matters. It feels like I'm finally starting to come into my own in my life with who I am in Christ. It's exciting! I'm not even close, by any means, to where I want/should be but I'm getting there and I like it.

Listening to... Disintegration - Jimmy Eat World
Currently Reading... Real Sex - Lauren F. Winner

P.S. Why is it that I find my new favorite song is a song about a disintegrating relationship when I just went though what I went through and feel great about my relationship now? I just think that it's humorous.

I need another alarm clock

2005-09-14T19:41:00.000-04:00

This would be the second day this week that I have slept though my first class due to my annoying habit of turning off my alarm clock in a semi-slumber daze. I think I need another, that would help right? I'll put it away from the bed so that I can't reach it and I'd have to get up and turn it off. Yeah, that'll work great. But where to get it? I could always venture down to the ole' Walmart, sell my soul, and get a crappy one cheaper than anywhere else. But I'm not too keen on the selling of my soul and would like to do that as little as possible. So where can I go. Houghton is so small and I'm not even sure where I could get one at, (besides hitting another chain like Shop-Ko). That's the sorry state of living in a town that has a Walmart and said Walmart has driven off all kinds of local business. An alarm clock, WTF mate? Maybe I'll go to the campus store at least I'm keeping my cash in the school system then. Sigh.

On another note, while the move back to the dorms has been really weird, in many senses of the word, I'm mainly adjusting well. Well, except for the meal aspect of things. I miss cooking myself dinner. I need to venture off campus more often and get myself some home cooked dinner. I think I'm going to do that tonight. Alex had mentioned maybe doing dinner; I think I'll give him a call.

Listening to... My Number (Single) by Tegan and Sara
Currently Reading... Real Sex by Lauren F. Winner

... But Sometimes It Just Does

2005-09-13T05:23:00.000-04:00

So I guess this is the first my life sucks post on this blog. Hopefully these will be few and far between. So.... Sunday night I broke up with my girlfriend of almost 2 years. I just felt like I couldn't give her all that she deserved. That I didn't have enough to give to the relationship. I felt like the long term relationship put pressure on me and it felt like a burden, and a relationship shouldn't feel that way... so I ended it. I called a friend over and we talked it over and he understood where I was coming from and didn't think that I was insane or anything for doing this. But, at the same time this is the girl that I want to spend the rest of my life with and I know this to be true. So the question around 3 in the morning on monday morn. that I was rolling around with was: "Do I end a relationship that I know that I want to continue for the rest of my life because at the time I feel like I can't give enough to it or do I stick it out and give what I can because there is no one I would rather be with?" Well round abouts of 3:45 in the morn I decided that sticking it out would be the best option since I could not see myself with anyone else and I love her more than I have loved anyone ever and I could not deal with causing her that much pain. So, I e-mailed her and let her know this. Well, come the next day I'm sweating because it's ridiculously humid out and I haven't heard back yet. Then she jumps on IM.... and she forgives me... Never have I felt more relieved. So while my world was turned upside down for about 12 hours it's back and all the tense weeks, (2), that led up to this are history. I don't know how awkward it will be because of this but I know I'm where I should be.

On a completely unrelated note, one of the most important things in my life is music... so I think I'm going to throw what I happen to be listening to at the bottom of each post and eventually a song or few. Sometimes it will be a song and sometimes it will be an album. It will show up at the end like this.... (look at the end). I'll also put down what I happen to be reading at the time. I love to read and sometimes I don't feel I do it enough, but just maybe by putting it on here it will make me read more. And I think that I'll do a review of each book as I finish.... more on what it meant to me and less on it's literary value. You'll probably find this where the music will be. So yeah.....

Listening to... XO (Album) - Elliott Smith
Currently Reading... Real Sex: The Naked Truth About Chastity - Lauren F. Winner

Church

2005-09-04T15:27:00.000-04:00

So, it's been a while since I've been back to the Catholic church, I had been bouncing around a lot, but I went today and it was exactly what I needed. I need a liturgy in my service. I need readings from the bible and not simply and passage and looking at it for a bit. I need the songs that I sung today. I need communion every week and not simply once a month. I need that atmosphere to truly worship in the way that I feel that I can best glorify God through. It was wonderful, refreshing, beautiful, and moving. It was worship. I still don't know how I feel about some of the finer points, some of the doctrine, of the church. But I do know that the main things are right and that I can truely worship and praise God there, so I think that I'm going to be going there for a little while. I also want to crack open my catechism and bible and really find out what I believe about some of the finer points of the church. I'm excited about my faith. It's refreshing.

Friends

2005-09-01T18:40:00.000-04:00

Right now is pretty rough for me. I guess that I have the opposite problem of many people. I simply cannot find enough time to hang out and converse with everyone that I want to. Maybe this is a beginning of the semester thing that will pass but for now it seems like I am starting so many new friendships and I just don't have time for them, no matter how desperately I want time for them. The thing is I don't want something that could become a truely special friendship to fall by the wayside because I don't have time. I need to get out of my job, Free up some time and get sane. I need to become more organized, so I can get the most out of my time that I do have. Oh well, I guess that the opposite problem would be worse.... for me at least.

Passion

2005-09-01T04:00:00.000-04:00

So.... I just got back from praise band practice and I just have so much energy right now. It's something about worship that is so passionate and so real that is just infectious. I couldn't be more excited about TNT tomorrow.... Now comes some explanation. I am involved with campus ministry at Michigan Tech through Campus Crusade for Christ. I sing in their praise band... not great but passable. I also lead a bible study through CCC. It really is a great way for me to grow closer to God and do what I'm passionate about. Okay, explaination through, now we can get back to everything else. I'm currently reading a book called Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller, and I read this section that I will share with you that I believe to be very profound and something I need to try and live more like. "But the trouble with deep belief is that it costs something. And there is something inside me, some selfish beast of a selfish thing that doesn't like the truth at all because it carries responsibility, and if I actually beleive these things I have to do something about them." I want so badly to live as I want to believe.... if that makes any sense at all. Putting my faith into a true practice and way of life. I think that is what I love about Crusade. It gives me an outlet to live that life..... scratch that I don't like how that sounds. Faith is not something that should be released in a specific outlet, it should be an overflow in all of life. But, I guess what I'm trying to say is that Crusade aids me in living a faith led life. Yet, I still can't yet fight the nervousness and apprehension with being outspoken of my faith... It seems as when I speak of it that I try to play it down. I cannnot do that, for my God, my Lord, my Savior, Jesus Christ is not something that should be played down. My God is the reason that I'm hear and the reason for all that I do, and I'm ashamed for the times that I have played him down. So, I pray for confidence and boldness to proclaim his name when the opportunity arises, for by myself, I am unable of such a deed. So... that just kind of came out. Ahhhh..... all I can say is that I love life.

Motivation?

2005-08-31T18:05:00.000-04:00

So what compelled this? I don't know, I figure it's probably a combination of a lot of things... For one the chance to put down life to paper, in a manner of speaking. I'm not disciplined enough to sit and write, so what makes me think that I'll be disciplined enough to continue this? I suppose that it has to do with the inordinate amount of time that I'm on the ole' interweb everyday. I think that I have all kinds of ideas floating through my head that are forgotten everyday, I suppose that this is another reason for the blog. The anonymity helps as well... though I'm sure I'll have a friend or two find out and spread the information until everyone who knows me knows of this. I don't mind that, I just don't want to start this with the goal of everyone who knows me knowing of this, for then it just isn't mine anymore. I guess in a way it isn't now either as anyone could stumble upon this. I just want to do this for myself and if anyone else wants to come along for the ride they are more than welcome. I'll probably update next with a little of who I am, but until then I'll revel in my anonymity.